"You make your bed, lie in it"

Have you ever heard the statement " You make your bed, lie in it" I heard it very often growing up, especially from mother with her many warnings. I wonder if it can apply to relationships/marriages. I believe that there are some persons who get into marriage thinking that things will change after the person has committed on that level. I am sorry to say, I don't see why. I remembered some years ago, I was in a meeting with a pastor, who was talking to us youths. He stated that our hearts are like a chair, be careful who we make sit in it. I never forget those words.

If you are dating an alcoholic, a smoker, a gambler or a man who cheats on you and for what ever reasons it may be kids, you two decide to get marry, does it mean that there's an automatic change in behaviour? I have heard many stories with people making the decision to commit themselves to a drunkard or a cheater and then feel that you marry me so stop drink or stop cheat. All I see is a ring was taken from a store and place on the hand of a drunkard/cheater etc

Before I got married, I was approached by different married men. I remember one married placed a question to me and I reminded him he was married, but he saw no issue with having as he put it "a side order" once it is kept between the two persons. I could not believe it. He didn't even know I knew his wife and had spoken to her numerous times. In talking to someone about it, I was told that the wife left church so that she can be with him and after they got married she went back into church and now he was so abusive to her. I looked at her and she was beautiful. I could not physically see the reason for him wanting to cheat although I was in no way trying to justify it, but when these things happen you start to wonder a lot. I thought about her decision and now the consequence. Maybe she didn't know he was a cheater, but I am sure she had heard he was wrong for her and that's why she probably left church, but when she returned back to church, he did not follow but he continued cheating. She made her bed...

It is my opinion that if you make a decision to commit to an individual after seeing their faults before you get married, you are not making that commitment in hope that they would change, but rather you are saying. I know you cheat, drink, smoke or gamble and I am willing to continue living with you like that. Although some people may indeed change their lifestyles after they got married, I would not advise anyone to enter into a marital relationship with the hope that change would come. What are your thoughts?