In growing up, the word sex always seem like a bad word. Even today as a Christian, it seems like to talk about sex in your relationship is a bad thing. Well I am here to tell you all that good, satisfying sex is an extremely important part of your marital relationship. I believe that is the reason why the bible stated that "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled..." (Heb 13:4). To me it was to give way for married couples to enjoy sex with no restriction. Look at the statistics below. It is telling us that in a lot of cases, many persons are not emotionally satisfied with their sex lives. I have heard statements like married men cheat on their wives because what the 'matey' is willing to do the wife isn't and I wonder to myself what possible things can that 'matey' be doing that the wife doesn't want to do? I would prefer to believe that that husband/wife who is cheating is just nasty.
- Keep an open mind in the bedroom. This for both partners. One partner cannot want to try something and the other one putting up a wall. Sex can be talked about so talk to each other about what you want to try and both of you should agree to what should be included/excluded.
- Be adventurous. If you stay on the bed all the time you will get bored, and especially if you don't have kids, use up your house. You would always remember those days after you have kids. Feel free to share the outdoors too, but of course you know you have to be careful with that one.
- What about role play? Lol What is wrong with dressing like the nurse or buying some nice tiger/leopard lingerie and acting the part.
- Talk. Silence may work for some people but talking may do so much more and I dont mean a discussion about the news or how was your day...I am sure you can figure that one out.
- Massages...Buy the oils and receive or perform a massage and I dont mean do it and fall asleep. The massage should actually be a form of stimulation therapy if I should put it that way
- Music...There are some nice soft mix or love songs that were played at your wedding that might just do the tricks
- Sex Toys...It may just add the extra spice you need
Now in all these pointers, remember that you are a couple and what ever you decide should be as a result of that, but we have learnt that sex is not just for reproduction. It is pleasurable, but there are differences in the way a man and woman orgasm. It is much more easier for the man to reach an orgasm, but even then they might not be emotionally satisfied with their sex lives. Women too even have it harder as we can go through different sexual encounters without experiencing an orgasm. Sex is not just physical but also emotional and because it is complex, it takes the 2 partners to improve and build a healthy sexual relationship.
What Percentage of People are Extremely Emotionally Satisfied with their Sex Lives?Using Waite and Gallagher's Categories
Waite and Gallagher's Numbers (WG)
Actual Numbers from
The National Sex Survey (Actual)
The National Sex Survey (Actual)
MEN
Married men: 48 (WG), 48.9 (Actual)
Co-habiting men: 37 (WG), 35.2 for single co-habitors,
52.6 for div / sep co-habitors (actual)
Married men: 48 (WG), 48.9 (Actual)
Co-habiting men: 37 (WG), 35.2 for single co-habitors,
52.6 for div / sep co-habitors (actual)
WOMEN
Married women: 42 (WG), 42.1 (Actual)
Single women with sexual partner: 31 (WG) 31.4 for not co-habiting,
44.1 for co-habiting (actual)
Divorced with sexual partner: 27 (WG), 27.4 for not co-habiting
36.5 for co-habiting (actual)
Remember, this is just my opinion and I would welcome any comment or additional information on this topic.
Like people fraid to talk about this one.I agree with all that you have said except the sex toy business. My husband has enough toys for me to play with. no artificial stuff thank you very much
ReplyDeletelol lol...They probably are, but its destroying a lot of relationships though and about they toys, I believe in keeping an open mind. I am young in my marriage life and we good for each other now, but I down the road I dont know what may happen so I aint closing my mind at all lol
DeleteWhat happen u think he may not e able to have an erection,in which case other body parts would suffice. I am still holding on to my point
Deletehahaha...you cracking me up and no, not all. I am not sure of the wide amount of sex toys out there, but thinks such vibrators might create extra sensation...I really dont know. I am simply saying if push comes to shove as we usually talk, my mind would not be closed to the idea lol
DeleteI want to say to persons be careful with what you try. A lot of persons are carried away with what they might have seen in some porn film and think that it is ok to take it to their undefiled bed but in so doing they make the undefiled defiled even within the confines of marriage. the sin of Sodom is not only men having sex with men but women having anal sex and that is one of the things that definitely defiles the pure marriage bed. Don't fool yourself by thinking that because you are married that anything goes. God will never be pleased with some of the things that go on in the beds of some married people.
ReplyDeleteI want to say I appreciate your comment and you raised some very interesting points. I really wished some pastors comment on this topic as it is something seldom discussed in church. Normally when you hear the bed is undefiled you get the idea that anything goes or whatever happen is to the discretion of the husband and wife, but here you are likening anal sex to that of the sin of Sodom, which I find pretty interesting. So I am seeking extra comments here. In what ways can the bed of a marriage couple become defiled? I am no expert when it comes to this and I often seek scriptural support rather opinion with these 'touchy' topic. Your post have however brought up as I say some interesting points, which I would like to hear more on.
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