When I was dating, I was approached on different occasions by men who were married and men who appeared single, but later I found out they are married. I remembered one time, this married man wanted to take me out, while his wife was enjoying her vacation in another country and I reminded him of his marriage and his response was he doesn't see anything wrong with having a little 'side-order' once it is kept between the two persons. I let him know nicely that I wasn't interested in becoming a side-order even though I chose my words carefully. When I looked back on that day, two things stood out. Firstly, he wasn't even aware that I knew him wife and knew her very well and secondly, Why should I settle for a side-order, when I can become a whole meal? Maybe I should have been blunt with him, maybe I should have rebuked him harshly for the audacity of him to even suggest to me such a thing, but knowing the position he held, I figured we would have crossed bridge in the professional world some point at and I didn't want to burn that bridge.
In spite of the different married men who tried, I told myself one thing. I am not going to blithe myself. Yes, I believe that getting involve with a married man can blithe you and since I wanted to get married one day and didn't want 'what goes around, come around' on me I choose to leave them at Jesus's feet. Now, I am not sure why people get involved with married men. Maybe it is the fact that apart from the sex, they are getting their basic needs met, given vacation and other valuable assets without the burden of cooking, washing and cleaning. Maybe it is the 'excitement' of being a 'bad' girl who can take away other people's married man. Maybe he is just too sexy and irresistible. Maybe you didn't know he was married and by the time you found out, you have already fallen in love. I do not know. What I do know is that he is married and there is a wife out there who probably looks/feels stressed because she is tired of the "horn, butt or bun" that her man is given her or there is a wife that is praying for her husband to come back to her. The funny thing is that these husbands in many cases, never leave their wives and if they are placed to choose, they often choose to remain with their wives. My question then is how do these men view you? Are you viewed as marriage materials or simply as sex objects? And if you know the answers, do you care?
Now I am married and I pray that God bless my relationship and protect my husband from the vipers out there. I have come to realise that while some married men go searching for other women, there are some 'other' women who go searching for married men and even when they are being ignored, they still force themselves on them. I pray that I never encounter such women since I have no intention putting my husband on a platter with two silver wares for them. If my husband should ever go looking, I would first start by evaluating myself to see what I have stopped doing or fail to do and I would seek to fix those, where possible. Ill encourage counselling (although sometimes the man is so far gone he is not interested in what the counselor have to say), but most of all I'll get on my knees and fast for my husband until God honour the words 'till death do us part."