Hardly ever does someone marries their first love. Also in today's world you will find that a woman is not single because she has not been approach by any men, but rather, she was not approach by the RIGHT man. What is the right man?
I have gone through several different relationships in my life, fell in love and in most cases, without falling out of love the relationship ended because that man was not the right man for me. Do you know that you can still have feelings for a person, but just have to leave?
My goals in relationship were the following:
- A man who attracts me. I really need that chemistry, that allure, that sexiness etc etc Of course there are many men out there with it. In fact, it is found in a lot in 'bad' guys; the one who smokes, drinks, party hard, have a lot of women etc...No wonder so many women are caught up with them, but is it enough?
- Secondly, I want a man who loves and have a relationship with God. Even when I wasn't living a right life and flirted a lot, I knew those 'relationships' were temporary because they were not my man of God.You might wonder, why didn't I mention it first. It is not because it is not the first thing I seek out, but because before a man approaches me, the first thing I notice is not how Christian he is, but how handsome he is. The Christian talk comes with conversation during the relationship, but the physical is the first thing you will see. I guess that is why sometimes Christian women get caught up with unsave men...they can't get pass that chemistry, huh?
- I am attracted to quiet men, who do not talk a lot. Well if you know me, you would know that I have enough conversation for me and my man. I am very talkative. Don't know how it would go down with two 'chatter box' in a house. Still, it was not simply because I talk a lot, but I love the mystery behind a quiet man.
- I love an ambitious man. Now I said ambitious and not educated or even rich, not because I want a 'dumsy head', but because I have seen men who did not have it academically, who had a trade that they succeed in and who never settle for mediocre. I love to listen to progressive men, who looks to the future with a plan, not a man who is not sure when he will move out his parents house, highly dependent on them and have no intention of sorting out his own life as if he would be young forever or waiting for his parents to die to get the dead left.
- Lastly, I want a man who I can trust. Now people may wonder how do you figure that one out and I cannot give a direct answer. For me I go with my gut. It is like this third sense. If a man is a cheater, I just get this feeling from beginning and know that this is not a relationship, might be a flirt, but not a relationship. I have no time or intention of listening to people or checking text messages, hiring Private Investigator or calling every minute to find out where you are at, who you are with, why you are home late etc. If I have any feeling at all that will cause me to be going crazy doing those things, I gone, that's the end of me and you. So with my husband, I live my life smoothly and with no worries. I am highly secure not because cheating is impossible, but because I trust him that much to believe he would not. Should he cheat, I would not know lest I see it with my own two big eyes and even then I might doubt what I see.
So there are men who have asked me why this guy and not me. If you check my short list above, you would realise you have failed at least one of my major pointers. My man is my man, not because he is perfect, but because he is perfect for me.