Over the years of dating, I looked at the men that I was attracted to, some I had relationships with and others I stayed far from because I would have been a fool. It is strange that many wonder how the good girls get the bad men or the good men get the bad girls. Do you think that in general ladies or men says she is bad and I want him/her in my life? I think we genuinely fall in love. So what is it that cause us to end up with a bad guy?
I don't think any woman wants a 'soft' man no matter how nice he is. We don't want anyone we can 'walk over.' We love to feel the power and authority in a man, so sometimes we test them to see what we can get away with and if we are getting away with everything because he is sooooooo in love then after awhile we get bored. However, in choosing a man with a somewhat macho quality, we at times end up with those who hit and abuse us.
What about his dressing and demeanour? Have you ever heard "I don't want the church boy look or he too holy holy" Strange enough, we tend to be attracted to the bad boy look, the mysterious man, the one who is attractive and shows us the least attention...Sometimes I wonder 'what is that girl doing with him.' He is attractive yes and dress good, but he smokes, drinks, his mouth is consistently filled with profanity and he talks down to you. In his mind, you are lucky to have him and should put up with it because in addition to all those things he might be rich and drives. At no time does he see that he is the lucky one to have you, who are willing to put up with him. Yet, you are in love and he is the one who is very presence electrifies you...He gives you a challenge and you love that. In spite of it all the negatives, there is just something alluring about him that you can't let go. He still attracts women, but he chose you. Yes, strange enough, a lot of us feels empowered when other women are attracted to our spouse.
So what should you do or maybe the question should be what are you willing to do? If you are looking for a long term relationship, what attracts you is not always what is good for you. So it is all up to you. The aim is to strike a balance. The sexy, mysterious, alluring man who loves you enough to respect you and not abuse you.