Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Ah Way me Come from....Me nar figet me history: Tribute to Me family

Ah long time, me want to write ah blog about me history. Ah long me what tell somebody say, me nah figet me history. And me going start off by saying me love me family.

Recently, me start to ponder on me family, me think about who ah pastors and pastors wives, who ah lawyer, who ah medical doctor and nurse to be, who ah accountant, who ah teachers etc etc Yes all ah dem in me family and all ah we young.

You know how we get there...by the sweat ah we parents brow. You see we ah country pickney who grow up poor and when me say poor, me na mean the ppl dem who lift themselves out of poverty, but can't seem to drop the word poor from dem vocabulary.

Wen me say poor, me ah talk about the following:

If you never had current and have fi beg fi ice or buy ice to put in ah yo juice. Yo black and white TV, if you happen to lucky, use to wuk with battery and sometimes the darn battery die when you in the midst of a good movie.

We droge water from stand pipe night and day to fill up the drums, buckets and jug. We even had fun doing it at times, racing to see who fah yard fill up the drum the fastest. Of course, me could ah only carry jug, but me remember some cousins ah try fi carry the biggest bucket because it hold more water, but by the time dem run reach home, only half the water in ah e bucket (good times)

Me member when we use to go to shop and the owners ah watch we like we going thief. Dem had a right cause some we family did thief, but na all ah we. Me think dem even use to give me back too much change, just fi say way me go do, dem lucky me bin honest, but me had dem in ah me mind. So me just kno that one day me ah step in that same shop with a title under me name... dem things motivate we

Me remember we use to bathe ah river, but that ah after we done wash we basin ah clothes and hang them out to dry. And den me cousins and I bathe in ah d deep hole or catch crayfish fi the pot later. Me love the deep hole and dey nuff ah we learn to swim (some with we eyes closed under water till we reach from one side to the next ...we butt up, but that ah how we know we out ah the deep part). Den days bin sweet cause we even bathe in we panty and jackey alone and no one watch we, but dem days dey done. After we go home and some ah we, like one cousin me now haffi go bathe again by he mother. But even though others ah we foot white like a kettle ashes as my mother wudda say, all we do ah grease down and we good to go.

If yo poor, den yo must know bout latrine. D worse part was night time when d frogs and cockroaches come out and long time me na see ah latrine and nuff ah we now live in ah wall house with flash toilet. At first it take a little getting use to with water an splash pan yo batty, but it better than the past wars with the cockroaches looking fi bite off yo batty.

Me remember how me use to love when rain come at night, just hearing it pound on we galvanize. Me never know bout house fi seal, a roof over we head was all we need. At times we haffi shift we bed or rain wet we up fi all who dead...yes shift we bed, the scraps ah cloth we spread, but we never mind, in fact we enjoy weselves. Me remember the sweetest times was when we parents lift we by we grandma to go to fete, all ah we just spread out on the ground, till some use to fight fi under d bed...let me pause (me remember me cousin Rochelle who loved under the bed, die very young at only age 18, may her soul rest in peace)

Life wasnt a bed of rose, but we build good memories. We never walk barefoot like we parents to go to school or did we have to come home from school fi lunch and can't go back cause land haffi wuk. We poor, dey bin poorer, but dem mek sure dem do all dem can fi we reach where we r. Sacrifice me nah figet.

So when me say me cousin ah lawyer or doctor, accountant, technicians, pastors, mason or carpenters and when me say me brothers ah teachers , me sis soon come nurse and me soon get me PhD, celebrate with we. If you see any ah we today, don't jealous we, don't covet we. Just member where we come from and continue to pray fi we.

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

A Virtuous Spouse: Are you?

Source: http://threesidesofcrazy.com/a-z-challenge-v-virtuous/

There are so many of us who claimed to be a virtuous woman, quoting the scripture from proverbs 31, but are we really. Now I believe I am a good wife and each day, I aspire to increase in virtue, but when I re-read the scripture, which I had read many times before, I found myself asking, Am I really virtuous? Today I ask you the same thing, are you virtuous? Let's take a look at what makes you virtuous according to Proverbs 31 and may be we can say if you satisfy at least 5 of the requirements, you are on the path to virtuosity.
  • Trustworthy: She can be trusted, and he will leave such a wife to manage for him. He is happy in her. And she makes it her constant business to do him good.
  • Business-minded, Efficient and Conscientious: She is one that takes pains in her duties, and takes pleasure in them. She is careful to fill up time, that none be lost. She rises early. She applies herself to the business proper for her, to women's business. She does what she does, with all her power, and trifles not.
  •  A Good Manager: She makes what she does turn to good account by prudent management. Many undo themselves by buying, without considering whether they can afford it. She provides well for her house. She lays up for hereafter. 
  • A leader: She looks well to the ways of her household, that she may oblige all to do their duty to God and one another, as well as to her.
  •  A Cheerful Giver: She is intent upon giving as upon getting, and does it freely and cheerfully. 
  • Wise, Loving and Kind (Not Gossipy): She is discreet and obliging; every word she says, shows she governs herself by the rules of wisdom. She not only takes prudent measures herself, but gives prudent advice to others. The law of love and kindness is written in the heart, and shows itself in the tongue. Her heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world. 
  • God Fearing: Above all, she fears the Lord. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who made his choice of a wife by it. But the fear of God reigning in the heart, is the beauty of the soul; it lasts for ever. 

  • A Warrior: She has firmness to bear up under crosses and disappointments. She shall reflect with comfort when she comes to be old, that she was not idle or useless when young. She shall rejoice in a world to come. She is a great blessing to her relations. (SOURCE: http://www.biblegateway.com/)
Now that you might have become a little bit more aware, do you consider yourself to be a virtuous woman or growing in virtue daily? When you look at how some wives behavior towards their husbands and household, you really have to ask where is the virtue? 

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Post Pregnancy- My Body/My Child

Source: http://siklusair.com/pregnant-with-7-babies-keepingkidssafenow

There are many things about pregnancy that people talk about (the birthing experience, the pregnancy glow, the baby etc), but there is one thing that persons might not elaborate so much about and that is the post pregnancy body. Now I have to share something because my pregnancy caused some transformations in my body that I did not mentally prepare for. For one thing, I was so excited, body and looks were the last thing on my mind. Secondly, I really did not think it would happen to me. It was my first child and my skin seems really good. Most of all though, I really thought that after the baby, with a few exercises and dieting, I will get right back to where I was. After all, I looked at some my friends, spoke to a few people and it is like they didn't even have a child. I mean after a few months, they went back to their original state. So believe me when I say I got a surprise of a lifetime and it put me in a state of mind, where I constantly have to speak positive things to myself. Let me tell you my story....

As soon as I found out that I got a confirmed pregnancy from the doctor, I purchased my olive oil and shea butter and I started to grease/oil down like a pig. I remembered a friend of mine told me that her mother-in-law said that  this was what she did throughout her pregnancy and she did not see one stretch mark. Well in spite of all the oil, I oil down, when I entered the latter part of my second trimester, I started to see some tiny lines. I thought to myself, that was nothing. By then, my nose had already gone up a size, my skin was probably 2 shades darker (it went up) and pimples had taken over much of my neck, chest and back. I was not worried or did I care. I was pregnant. I remembered saying to my husband, it did not matter what this child did to my body, We are having a baby! So when I weighed the last time and realized I was over 200lbs, it did not bother me. I hate seeing unnecessary fat and so I knew I'd get it off (or so I thought). When my feet became swollen and I remembered a teacher friend said to me a few years  back, expect your foot size to go up one foot after a baby, it still did not bother me. My feet were  small (7/7 1/2) so what was one size up. Then I had the baby and time began to pass, but the impact of the pregnancy was still upon me.

I began feeling depress. I felt ugly and unattractive. The weight gained went down drastically with breastfeeding, except in the tummy (where it matters most). The fat there is sooo stubborn. As I did a c-section, I could not "tie down" within 3 months or start any exercise until I was granted permission from the doctor. Still, even when I was given the go ahead to exercise, my schedule was so busy with the new born that I could not fit it in. When I lie on my back, my belly skin shake like jello. After months of stretching, there was excess, stretched marked skin. Then there was the navel. For 'umteen' years, ever since I know myself, I had an inverted navel. I loved it. It was what we referred to as sexy navel....the type fit for a bikini. Well my bikini days have ended, over, done. So I revisited my doctor. I wanted to know how soon after a baby, your navel went back in ( it was already passed 3 months for me). I found out that normally it goes back in almost immediately, and that I had a hernia. I was told I need to do a minor surgery  to repair the hernia (I was tired of surgeries...I had one for the fibroid, one for the baby and now needed one for the hernia). I said to myself I'll wait a little and I am still waiting, but I found out that an inverted navel does not just look good when exposed, it also presents certain benefits when covered, like not poking out of your skin-fit dress or shirt. So I really do miss my navel.

It really is not easy. However, each day I gained strength by looking at my daughter. Every time, I would asked myself, would you have preferred a sexy body over your child, which I know with all my heart, the answer to is no! With that, I would smile. It does not changed the fact though that many of us women are struggling with our post pregnancy body. Some of us have even been driven into post pregnancy depression because of an inability to come to grips with and rise above our physical image. Recently, I looked at a video about post pregnancy bodies and I know that as women we need to support each other. Here is the link that I think will make you feel a bit more comfortable with yourself... http://www.upworthy.com/this-photograph-sparked-mothers-to-show-us-what-their-post-baby-bodies-really-look-like?c=ufb1

Now I am still a work in progress and as soon as I can schedule my time effectively, I intend to get cracking with some directives to achieving an acceptable body image for myself. It might not be sexy according to the media or would it be my original state, but I would be able to look down at me and say Yesss! I did it!

Saturday, 17 May 2014

When you love your friends more than God...

Now there are some people on Facebook who are confusing me and I am convinced that they are the way they are because they choose friends over God. Have you ever read the status of persons, observed their statuses and what those they liked and it seems that one minute they are living for God and the other minute they are not? Are they as confused as you are with their life's directions? Does it seems to you that they seem to like statuses based on the relationship with those persons and who the persons are, rather than the status itself? I mean how can you agree with the statuses of your Christians friends who shared critical truths relating to the word of God and then with the same breath like the statuses of unsaved friends who are saying things contrary to the word of God?

Now I have no problem with persons having unsaved friends. I mean how else can we reach people if we shun them for most parts, except when we want to witness to them 
then we want to be buddies and are pretending that we have so much love to give. However, I believed that if you are truly living for God and you have a friendship with anyone who are living contrary to God's will and somehow they are influencing you into negative things more than you are influencing them into positive things you need to evaluate and 'simmer down' that friendship for the betterment of your life. Look at persons who backslide, do you think it is always a conscious choice...ohh Christianity aint have nothing to offer me, I am done... Rather, many of them follow friends. Strange enough, at times the friends are not even trying to influence you. They are just doing their thing and might even respect you for standing up for what you believe in, but you just choose to follow. You remember the saying, those who knoweth the right and doeth the wrong shall be beaten with many stripes (in fact I believed it is taken from the scripture Luke 12:47), well there is truth to it so when you make a choice of choosing friends over God, then be prepared to face the consequences.

It is a sad thing when we are afraid (it happened to me many times) to rebuke persons with their negative, filthy, pull down speeches because we do not want to affect our friendship with them, yet we are sick of what they are saying, know it is wrong and totally disagree with it. It is even worse when we smile with them in agreement and sometimes even support them in words and then later feel terrible within ourselves because we know what we did was wrong. In fact, it makes us highly hypocritical!!!