Saturday, 15 December 2012


A major percentage of individuals, young and old, rich and poor, own a blackberry or some other smart phone. Texting, games, calls and browsing are some of the major uses of these SMART PHONES. Is there anything wrong with owning one? Absolutely not!!! They may even be regarded as an asset rather than a luxury BUT some have taken them to the ranking of GODS in our lives. Are you addicted to your smart phone? Seek Rehabilitation.

I am tired of seeing people texting on their smart phones during church. Why do you need to take your phone to church? Is it the Holy Spirit? And don't tell me it has on your bible! Through the week, you don't read it, but all of a sudden on your church day, you want to? I suggest you go back to the old- fashion method of carrying  a bible to church. I am tired of seeing people texting and browsing during a church service. And my, when the phone rings in the midst of the sermon and shamefacedly, they fight to end the call, only to hear it ring again few seconds after. Really! Couldn't you have put it on silence or vibrate?

I know we all attend church for different reasons, but the fact that your left your home for church, have some respect for God and his temple. Maybe, there is a particular day that you need to take your phone because you are expecting an important call...PUT IT ON SILENCE, the rest of the congregation do not need to be interrupted by your call. This is so sad also when you notice is Christians texting and smiling and responding. BREAK PEOPLE OFF THE HABIT OF TEXTING YOU DURING CHURCH.

Now to the workplace, especially in the public service. My goodness!!! Have you ever walked into a business place and the receptionist is their texting and smiling and must complete it before she asked you (with a frown on her face like you are disturbing her) may I help? No wonder in some parts of the private sector they banned the use of your personal cell phones during work hours. How can yo be efficient and productive during the day if you are wasting working hours for your personal entertainment? Surely you are not concern about the mission of the business but simply getting through the month for a salary.

I believe that these phones can become or are already gods in a lot of lives. WATCH OUT!!!

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Who to love me?

Whenever someone has an addiction and seek rehabilitation  one of the things that they have to come to grip with is a simple statement...I am an addict and I need help. It is all about moving beyond self denial. I have seen a lot of denial and pretense when it comes to love.

You are single seeking a relationship, but somehow things not going as you plan. Maybe you are no longer as in your 20s; you spent a lot of time concentrating on school and a career and now that you want to complete your circle with a husband/wife and kids, you realise you are still single. 

Maybe you are younger, but somehow the guys you like never give you the time of day, no one approach you. What to do?

Do not deny yourself love by making this statement, "I do not want no man." Pretending that you are happy with your solitude does not fulfil the vacuum within your heart, the emptiness you feel when you see a happy couple or hear about a loving relationship. Do not suffer under pretense. Wanting someone to love you is not a bad thing, but depression can arise from pretending you don't.

What should you do in the mean time?

  •  Enjoy dating and outings even if it is with your girlfriends. 
  • Treat yourself, eat healthy and look attractive. Do not look unavailable when you know you are available and yes...there are some men who do not approach some ladies because they look taken. Remember a confident  lady can be intimidating to a man who might be mustering up the strength to ask you out. Try to balance confidence with yourself as a strong, confident woman who can allow a man to lead. 
  • Widen your horizon. Your spouse might not be in your church, your community or even your island. When you save, feel free to move around, travel and enjoy new scenery.

Who to love you? There is someone out there. 

Friday, 23 November 2012

Minding your own business

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There is a tendency for some persons to become so involve in other persons business and lives that their own are left exposed with no one to tend to it. Be aware of persons with whom every conversation you have, is about other person's business. Ironically, many of these very individuals speak as if their lives are perfect, so much so that they have time to fix other persons lives. Often though, there are many skeletons in their closet and cowebs spreading across their barnyards because they have taken absolutely no time to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND FIX UP THEIR LIVES. Sad....

I am often mindful of people who talk so much about other people, yet so little about themselves. At the end of the day, you know who lives where, who sleeping with whom, who are they hypocrites in whatever church, who pregnant and the list goes on, but you do not know who they sleep with, if they are hypocrites etc. Of course again, when they speak, it appears as if they are walking the straight and absolute narrow and have never once fall on the wayside. 

I'll say to those people if you take sometime to look into your own lives, the past, the present and future you will notice many things:

  • You have lots to do. If not ensuring the mistakes of the past are not repeated, you can be enjoying your present or planning your future. With so much to do, where would you find time for other people's affairs.
  • You are wasting time. So often people criticize and gossip others without ever once pointing out to the individual of whom they speak about, what they can change and how it can benefit them. It seems like in this world, everyone can see the wrong but cannot point to the right. The devil still finds work for idlers
  • You are unhappy and unhealthy. Gossip is often driven by envy and covetousness. Before you know it you have ulcers and all kind of stomach and abdomen pain all stemming from your jealousy. Experience a happy and healthy lifestyle by looking in to your own business and desisting from minding other persons' business.
  • You have few true friends, if any. As much as it might appear that you have a lot of friends with whom you converse with daily, when 'push come to shove', these very same people will take you to the galos and hang you. As a gossiper, who can you trust and who will trust you? Often people think, if you can talk other persons business so much, I can only imagine when you sit down to talk about me, even though they will never say that to you.
Minding other persons's business can become very addictive. Imagine how better your life will be if all that energy is channel into minding your own business. 

Wednesday, 14 November 2012


As a female I probably should write about the need for female empowerment. I have read so much on women's victimization in the home and workplace, many of which are written by females, but in spite of that, they are true. Over the years, however, I have noticed that it has moved into a type of battle as if as ladies we intend to take over the world. I have no problem with ambitious women and women leaders whether it is in the political, economical or even spiritual field and I do believe in equality. However, lately I have become worried about our men.

Females, not only isn't there enough men to meet our female population, they also seem to be fading into the background of modern society. I admire strong, ambitious men who can assert a certain type of positive authority that many of us women have grown to admire. There is a sense of security that we tend to get with men. Just imagine walking with a male versus a female in a lonely park. No matter how small built or even fat that man maybe, there is this sense of security. This is because when we look at men, we view both physical and mental strength. However, today I asked, what is happening to our men?

In our universities, the ratio of female to male is tremendous. Our prisons are witnessing an increase in young men who have gotten themselves messed up in drugs, burglary or even murder. Males are absent from our homes and many females are now running the homes, not because they want to but because they do not have a choice. Even when they are present in the homes, their voice is unheard so that the responsibilities that they should carry out especially with our male children are affected. I truly believe that there is a difference when a father exercises authority over their children compared to mothers. I reflect on my own childhood that even though I respected both my parents, when my father got upset, I was more nervous and fearful than with my mom who seems to be always talking and warning. I look at the number of homosexuals, the ones who in school or within their homes, who have become involve in homosexuality either because they were abused by some relative or because they are greedy for fast riches and I see the need for male empowerment. It might be legal in some countries and their might be a widen acceptance of it from human rights activist, but while some groups seem to moving towards acceptance, I asked what is happening to our men? Remember the argument on nature versus nurture... if evidence points to nurture, then our males need help.

It upsets me much when I see a lady talk down to a man, who is simply trying to be nice or just trying. It does not matter to me whether he is your spouse, your employee, brother or friend. Do not bruised the ego of a man because you feel you have arrive at some false destination. Sometimes it scares me when power get into the hands of some women for the same thing we talked out against when we were the underdog, is repeating its ugly face now its the other way around. Men are getting lost in the wilderness. In our fight for women empowerment and within our researches that uses the word gender as if it is synonymous with females so that you know from the beginning you are going to read about women, let us not be blinded by what is happening with our men. I therefore call for MALE EMPOWERMENT, ALONGSIDE FEMALE EMPOWERMENT! 

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

My Marriage proposal

No matter how much you talked about getting married, I believe any lady looks forward to their wedding proposal. You do not simply want to be with a guy for however long, sit with him talking about whether it is time to get married and then before you know it you are planning for a wedding without a real proposal. Anytime, I look at wedding photos, I wonder what was the proposal like? Were you aware, unaware, was it romantic or dull, where was it, what did he do, how you feel? I also enjoy watching videos on romantic. Well today, I am going to tell you about my marriage proposal and I hope that those of you who are married or engage, will be willing to comment on your proposal.

My husband and I visit jewelry stores often. These are often  times when we are shopping for gifts for each other and it started before we got married. Other times, we did it for the fun of seeing what's new. Sometimes we looked at engagement and wedding rings having talked about marriage before, simply wanting to know each other's preference. I remember clearly the ring I fell in love with one day we went shopping. It was just an engagement ring without a wedding band, but very unique compare to other others. I tried it and I loved it. As a woman, my intuition wondered if something was up. My birthday was pretty close and I wondered, was he going to propose? Still, I didn't want to dwell on it because I didn't want to go on my date for my birthday expecting something that was far from his mind. Imagine how disappointing that can be.

Anyways, my birthday came and that evening I dressed not knowing where I was going. I was driven to Knutsford Courts Hotel  for dinner :) Nothing beats these special moments and I believe all women looks forward to being pampered and taken care of and just feeling special; on our birthdays, anniversary, valentines, Christmas and even ordinary days. He had my gift in a gift bag; I thought with a gift bag that size what can it be.  We order champagne and our three course and of course I could have ordered anything on the menu, I chose however not to burst his pocket :) Afterall I wanted more dates lol. Then came the time to open my gift. Always an excited time, opening gifts, not knowing what you have gotten this time, but can't wait to see, I took it and started to pull out the material that was inside. I later realise that the bag was big the stuffing was a lot, but the gift was small. There, at the bottom of the bag was a somewhat square box, maybe a watch or a chain I thought as I have jumped little hints that I wanted jewelry. He looked at me intensely as I opened it. I smiled as I gaze upon my gold chain. I was quite contented with my gift and so I attempted to take it out for a closer look and maybe even wear it for the evening when I realise that beneath the cotton in the box was something else that did not come out with the chain. It wasn't a pendant because clearly it would be on the chain. I sort to raise the cotton to look beneath and in doing so, I watched my husband got down on one knee and I listened to him said these words to me:
" You came to Jamaica and stole my heart and now I am giving you the rest of me with it. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" And guess what I said...

I still cannot express how I feel then. I remember blushing from that instant all throughout the night, wondering if, in spite of our cozy corner, others within the restaurant had seen. I remember thinking I love him. Today, I still feel the same for him as I did the day I knew he would make me happy and there is no regret.

Thursday, 8 November 2012


 Can you recall all the persons who looked down on you throughout your life because you could not dress like them, wear the right clothes, speak the right way? The people who made you feel ugly because your eyes were too big, your teeth were not properly shaped, you were too black...Can you remember the guys who bypass you for what they thought was 'pretty'? Don't you wish you can look at them and say look at me now!!! 

I think the stage in your life you feel this most is as a teenager. You get attracted to persons at that stage mainly on looks and if you do not fill the criteria, then you are left out.  Nothing is wrong with having preferences, but there are some (both girls and guys) who have to make you feel that you are not in the category and so they say thinks that eventually shatter your self esteem. But then you grow up, you are educated, have a good job and can now afford to buy the right clothes. Your self confidence and self esteem is now built.  You look around and what do you see:

  • Some 'scrawny' men, some of them lips black from smoking and skin shine from consuming too much alcohol and you wonder it can't be. Couldn't be the same sexy guys you infatuated about as a teenager? They come up to you as if they think they still have it going on and  like between then and now, your body grew but your mind remained the same, expecting to have the same effect...Ha! Look at me now!!!
  • You look at some of the girls that seemingly had it going on. Some well mash up and look twice your age, burden with children they cannot care for, uneducated because they skull classes to meet and sex with man. You wish you can say to them...Look at me now!! for the many times they throw word and call you names, but all you feel is sympathy. Others, are educated and in good jobs, but have many regrets, their mind still have not grown as they continue to hang on to their 'piece' of man who lacks ambition and fail to see the world is changing. Count your blessings, look in the mirror, smile and tell yourself, look at me now.
Be careful the decisions you make in your early life, the friends you keep, the people you speak. For those of you who are poor, think you are ugly because you have heard it so many times, closed your ears to the negative world, focus on achieving what you can now. Look in the mirror and see your beauty through your own eyes. Poverty can be only for a period if you want it to. One day you will be able to afford it all and your very essence will shout at the world LOOK AT ME NOW!!!

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Democrat versus Republican: Obama wins again

Let me first say congratulations to President Obama who has done it again. When I look at my facebook page, there are a lot of happy fans all AROUND THE WORLD. I even found myself getting a bit nervous last night with my eyes glued to the television set. I am not a big fan of political affairs but I am a keen observer and so today I would like to share those very observations.

First of all, it was the amount of Caribbean people who were involved in American politics, some even more than they are involved in their own home country politics. Was it wrong? Well I look at different persons views on facebook, some of whom couldn't see the big deal. Is it a big deal? I believe it is. In this global world or village, as we sometimes call it, the United Stated of America play a very integral role in the economy of Caribbean people and many other nations around the world. In other words, when there is a recession in the U.S.A economy, we feel it right at home. Additionally, the U.S.A is a haven for many Caribbean people. If we look at our migration rates, we will see that in terms of international migration, many Caribbean persons migrate to the U.S in search of greener pastures. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don't, but whatever the case we know that who is in charge of America is not only making decisions for Americans, but also us Caribbean people. If many of our illegal residents are sent back home, who will send the remittances? 

My second observation has to do with politics on a whole. As I listened to CNN and other news station project the election results for different parts of the state, this is what stood out for me. Based on past elections, there were states that favour democrats and those that favour republicans and apparently were like this for years. I remember my own island with persons being able to tell which constituency is already won by ULP or NDP and right here in Jamaica, it repeats. Now I really do not think, and it is my humble opinion, that anyone should claimed to be a democrat or a republican, a labour man or a PNP man or a NDP man. At any election, we should approach it with an open mind so that you can be a democrat today and a republican the next day. It should be about the issues and who is best able to deal with them. Election should be so unpredictable that it keeps politicians on their toes knowing that the real power rest in the hands of the people. No man should say I am a democrat or republican until the day I die because my parents were this and my parents' parents were. I hear a statement in my own little island one election, "the ship is sinking and I am going down with it." I figure if a ship is sinking obviously something is wrong with it and if their is a rescue boat that is better, why not jump on it. 

My main advice therefore to us is no matter what country, island or state you are in, when election comes, let politicians understand clearly where the power lies. I applaud those states that were once dubbed republicans but last night it was won by democrats. No one knows what next year holds :) And I applaud Florida, it was a close fight and it tells us that there are people there who are very much concern about issues and not simply the nature of being a democrat or republican.

Congrats again to President Obama and I wish you all the best in the  4 years. Remember us Caribbean people as we fight for our visas and our resident status :)

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Keep Christ in your marriage and reduce divorce

It always baffled me why divorce is so high among Christian couples. When I got married, I found myself being super vigilant, looking for signs of things that might eventually build up and become so sour that we seek divorce. I make it a habit to express myself fully when I am happy or unhappy so that my husband would not have to read my mind. Mind you, there are times when I get so upset that I do not want to talk, but after a while I know I have to if I want to see changes and so I do. So why is divorce is so high among Christian couples? I think it is because we downplay and in many cases remove Jesus, the foundation on which our relationship is built. It can be one individual or both persons within the relationship who remove God, but whatever the case I can see where God can become absent and how it can eventually affect our relationship.

I love my husband and care deeply about him and I would like to believe that the feelings I had the day we started chatting, to our first kiss and eventually our marriage will last forever. Do we get upset with each other? Of course. There are some little things that can nag at you and as little as they are, if you are not vigilant, it can result in big argument. Simple things as to where you leave your shoe, the clothes you take off etc You see I think what we fail to realise as Christian couples is that we are ordinary humans, who have made a decision to come together and occupy one space. We may have things in common, but we still have different personality, which may clash from time to time. It doesn't matter how in love we are, a relationship Christian or non-Christian requires work.

What I think should be different for Christians is that we should be following the word of God and applying it  to our marriages. When you get angry, which often might happen, do not sin...Angry and Sin not. Denying self is important whether you are Christian or not, but where is this constantly taught? Is it not within the church, a call make to all believers? Well self is not only denied when it comes to the things of God, but is also important within relationship. So he is dead wrong and thinks he is right, but there is a need to make him pay? Well that desire is normal as a human but as a Christian, should you let it determine your next course of action? So often we do, we forget who we are in Christ. We get tired of him doing the same thing over and over and the devil find a way to play on our sinful nature until we find ourselves, no longer caring, but revengeful. Why shouldn't he put in the same effort too? Isn't he a Christian also? MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK!!! If we find ourselves concentrating on what the other partner should do, we might become so stress and then eventually lose our marriages. 

 I believe that if both partners are  Christian and commit themselves to doing his will then when problems and issues arise in the relationship, they will act accordingly. Argument would not be allowed to get so bad that curse words become involve. Do not think you are a super human because you call yourself Christian either. There would be things that you need to take to a counselor and seek help because you have tried, you have prayed, but one partner is just not changing or even understanding how it is affecting you. Before you allow yourself to become so bitter that your love turns to hate, seek help because as a Christian you are thought faith without works is dead and also to use wisdom in your actions. 

Christians, let us be wise in our relationship.  No one wants to marry the love of their life to divorce anytime after, whether short or long.

Sunday, 28 October 2012

My experience following Hurricane Sandy

Well when Sandy hit Jamaica, it was only a category 1 hurricane and thank God for that. The amount of damage I heard it has done is incredible and so my heart goes out to those in New York right now who is experiencing a greater magnitude of the hurricane. It is one thing to hear about hurricane but experiencing and seeing what it can do can affect anyone tremendously. Anyway, it came and it ended and it affected electricity for 4 days in my light, no tv, no computer WHATTTTTTT!!!!

You will never know how much you have lean and depend on these things until you are without there use. I mean I almost went crazy. ME! who grow up with a family who knew how to enjoy the moonlight playing ring games and hide n seek...Yes, the days when we light we flambo and listen to all kind of jumbie stories, but today I have been so MODERNIZE that without electricity I felt like a fish out of water. How about you? What was it like?

Well I told myself, I am a country girl and creative. My husband and I pull out our scrabble., ludo and cards and night after night we play competitively. We even remember a game from primary school...Boys, Girls, Animal, Places, Things...You remember that? We play religiously under our candle light throughout the nights and you know what I realized? Sandy give us a chance to BOND. I never realize how much of our time is taken up with TV and computer until I sat there playing those games. 

We come from work each day and the first thing my husband does is turn on the TV  me... I turn on the computer and we will spend the rest of the night doing our own things, occasionally holding short bits of conversation in between. Yet, it is amazing how these things (TV, computers, game boys) can blind us to the big space that slowly builds up between couples, parents and children etc overtime. It is true that I also realized that I  don't want my husband 24/7 holding conversation. I need my ME time, but still in spite of the harm and destruction of Sandy, I see how it can bring families and even friends closer together. In fact, for the first time since my stay in Jamaica I enjoyed the moonlight even though it was not full. In the absence of electricity, I looked outside and saw the place bright so I decided to look further and my husband was like 'it's the moon.' We stood outside for a little and hugged under the magnificent beauty of nature God has created. I know the situation of Sandy is devastating for many, but I urge us to find time within this period to draw closer to each other and just have some fun in spite of your limited resources.

I would love to hear from you so feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts or experiences. 

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Yo remember the days...

Yo remember the days...
When yo only wear dark colour underwears because yo na want nobody see...
Now these days, it seems like all panties and bra resemble lingerie and now young and old girls want every body see,
So piece of the bra have to show out ah the clothes and they have style ah panty that can wear above the pants and yo know way we call that....STYLE! so even when the clothes see through and we can see yo pretty colour panty, who cares? Afterall, every  spoil is a style.

Yo remember the days...
When bitch was what it was BITCH... and when woman call woman that it was bad and when man call woman that it was BADDER...
Nowadays, yo hear girls saying to their friends What's up bitch and them say it na mean nothing and men telling them friends that she is his bitch and apparently it still na mean ntn...When did the bitch meaning change ah wonder? And what is this thing about exclusive rights to bitchyness so that you have persons who you allow to call you bitch, but when others try call you bitch yo vex? Wat ah piece ah irony!!!

Yo remember the days...
When yo couldn't walk off on your parents, yo couldn't shut door in ah no parents face because yo never own it, if you want to frown up when your parents talk and answer back, yo better do it when dem gone or else yo wudda eat the words yo want to say with the slap you wudda get in yo face...And we grow up straight, straight and well discipline
Well these days things na so...dem have all kind all laws telling parents not to hit child, even if yo spank yo pickney yo abuse get licks but me never get abuse and me thank God fi it as me come out straight, straight...But with all d laws dem that exist, d pickney dem na grateful that dem parents nah hit them, and instead ah ground dem and take way TV time and give them time out....Instead, dem ah slam door like dem build house and say who have rights to come in ah dem room and when, dem ah talk back to parents with dem rude tone and storm off, jump in ah car dem na buy and drive because they don't want to talk anymore...

Ah think ah wudda reach old age, with me back bend and me stick in me hand before me could talk about remember days, but lard the place ah change right in front  me eyes in ah small space ah time.

Saturday, 13 October 2012


How many persons look forward to the amount of sex you will have when you get married? For those who are currently married, are you living up to the standard you set? 

Sex is not a topic that people love to talk about openly. In fact, most prefer to suffer in unsatisfied silence than to get it out there and understandably so. Well, as most persons prefer to read and get their answers that ask questions, I see this article as warranted.

Some time ago, I had a conversation with a very good friend who believe that when she gets married, her sex life will be super active, given the waiting period she was under. It is a popular thought among women who are virgins and especially Christian women who are not fornicating. Somehow there is a great expectation and it is felt that you would never complain about lack of sex or unfulfilled sexual needs. You will hear about who would be sleeping in lingerie every night, the many positions or 'non-bed' sex that will be included etc...:) For those who got married, are you still doing it and if not, how long after you got married you stop? 

Quite recently, I realised that at times you can get so busy that you have to schedule sex. What do I mean? Well, it means that you and your spouse have to put a day or night on the calendar that is strictly for you and even though you can do whatever you please with it, sex is always a big part, given that the week before was busy and inactive sexually. Scheduled sex is similar to the sex that persons who are trying to get pregnant have as they have to gauge the period in which they body is ovulating. Is it always great or is it boring?

I think that will depend on the frequency with which schedule sex happens. I would advice to minimize it as much as possible. It can be exciting as one plans ahead, what they will wear, a few text messages during the day to get the mind in corrective mode and the blood pumping :), the massages, red wines, flowers etc etc, but doing this over and over and over again will feel just like how you felt when you read that line. I don't think anything beats spontaneous sex, that is, unplanned, unorganised sex that can take place in a bed, on the floor, in a couch or where ever else it meets you. Still, there are times our  lives will get busy, super busy and we cannot pretend that it hasn't. Still you cannot allow it to affect your intimacy and so you have to schedule your time together. My advice, don't let schedule sex take over your sex life, but whenever it must happen, be very creative. Furthermore, from time to time, knock yourself out with some spontaneity. Of course, you are going to sleep after given your tiredness, but it will be worth it.

Remember to like Talk to Jazzy on facebook and leave a comment whether positive or negative. Just keep it clean and be constructive in your criticism if there is any.

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Custody Battles: Think about the children!!!
I was watching a news event some night ago where they were talking about a popular basketball player who had sole custody of his children, while his ex-wife was very emotional about not seeing her kids in months. I know the news do not always carry factual statements, but I was a bit depressed from what they said. The ex-wife who had visiting rights, lost those rights when she returned HER CHILDREN late one evening. Whatever prior charges that was built against her during the custody battle were dropped after the battle was won by her husband. Another statement that captured my attention was from the ex-wife who alluded to the power of money in custody battles. 

I believe that custody is justified when a parent is abusive to his/her children, a misfit (probably an alcoholic, drug abuser etc) or any other thing that will cause harm to the children.  However, it is very upsetting when parents USE their children in hurting their ex-spouses, which is often the case. A child who often is too young to state their views and represent themselves, is dragged through a custody battle of their parents who once loved each other. How often do parents honestly consider their children in these battles? Should money really be a determining factor in giving sole custody to one parent or if a parent who only have visiting rights, reach late by mins, hours or even a day? Of course, I would expect them to inform the other parent about the delay so that they would not be worried. 

I think again of this basketball star and I asked myself, with him being on the field, travelling, training, gaming as often as they do, who stays with the kids? May be there is a babysitter whom he pays generously, given the type of job that he does, but who can replace the love and attention of a mother or father and if that mother has in no way harm or threaten to harm her kids and if he knows that she loves and cares for them, in spite of their differences, why can't she be the one to  take care of her kids?

Again, I say I do not know all the facts that surround that situation and apart from what was mentioned in the news, I cannot speak to all the underlying reasons surrounding him getting sole custody. However, in an effort to be objective, represent the voice of many of these children and challenge all those who are currently taking their children through these custody battles, I say to ALL, THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!! In your sometimes selfish aims to fatten your bank account, make your ex burn or eat grass, do not do it at the expense of your children. As much as there are many single parents home out there and many single parents are doing well given their limited resources, I am quite certain that many children would prefer to have both parents in their lives, again, if they are not being abused or harm by them. No one parent CAN fulfill the role of both mother and father adequately, even if they try and though a baby sitter or a step parent can do a great job, they still CANNOT replace a mother's or father's love. 

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Saying I love you

Growing up, we never practice I love you among within our family. We know we loved each other, but we never said it. I have never heard my parents said it, nor my brothers, but we knew. I remember how strange it felt when my little sister said it, but I knew even though I loved her, when she said it, I grew more attached. I felt the need to protect her and to care even more.

At my wedding, I pay tribute to my mother who walked me down the aisle and it had me, her and many of my well wishers in tears. It was the first time, I was telling her how I appreciated what she had done through out my life and that I love her. Why was it so hard? I had spent my years showing her and many others how I felt. When I bought you a gift on those special days, send  you a card, hug you...when we laugh like there is no one else in the world, or my eyes lit up when I see you, don't you know that it is love, that I love you?

I found out, sadly in my adult years, that to show love and to say love bears a different weight. There is so much more to saying I love you than simply doing the things that express it. Don't get me wrong. It is a great thing to show someone that you love them, whether it is true a gift, a smile, a hug, but it is even better to look them in the eyes and say it. When I was younger, I wrote all that I could not say. I wrote short love stories, letters, but mostly poems and it felt great. But today, when I tell my husband or my nephew I love you and I hear it back, my heart is warmed and becomes tender and I feel so contented.

Do you ever notice in church, how easy it is to say I love you with the love of the Lord, but when it comes to your own family or even spouse, it is so hard? I remember my first boyfriend wanted me to say I love you so badly and how hard it was for me, not because I did not love him, but because I think he should know and be satisfied with my actions, and it was hard to get it out my mouth. I think I muster up the strength once to say it, but it was hard for me and difficult for him who wanted to hear it.

Today, it is my hope that we all try our best to express our love to our families, friends or spouse even though it might not be easy. Now, there are times we have to be careful to whom we say our I love you to, but that is another blog by itself. For you today, let you love be said to those who you have lasting relationship with, whether it be through family ties, marriage, or years of friendship. Say the I love you with the gifts and express with your lips, how you care and appreciate them.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Big up to the Christian Soldiers

Just wanna bless someone right now. This is a band my brother started. He is the lead vocalist and composer. He has written a lot of songs, but this is one of my favourite. To all the Christian Soldiers out there be bless.

Some of the Lyrics:
me sing, I am a missionary, ah say me arm and ready like ah military and when me fire God's word, demons me ah bury, look for dem skulls and bones in the cemetary (chorus)

Pray and fast to me is like a nuclear weapon and when me fire away at the devil kingdom ah just years on years of disfiguration. God is calling us on a mighty mission  one cause, one purpose no separation. On the battlefield, together as one, we ah go burn down the whole ah the devil kingdom. Christian Soldiers put on uno armour, let the enemy know ah Jesus Kingdom uno fight for...

If you want to hear how me hold me bible like a matic, say me ah go shot, demons haffi run, dem haffi flee, dem haffi watch it...Listen the rest...Tell if you like it and are blessed by it.

Available on CD, if you want to order the album.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Making the right choice for a spouse: No money, no love?

Many persons find out about their WRONG CHOICE/S when it is too late. How you choose a boyfriend or girlfriend is often dependent on whether you want a long term or short-term (flirt) relationship. Keep in mind also that a person choosing you, is making the same decision of whether they want a long term or short term relationship. I would like to concentrate here on persons who want a long term relationship. 

What is serious is the factors that determine how you make that choice and I would focus my information on what I have experienced or observed. These are some of the factors that determine who a person choose:

  • What their parents have to say
  • The status of the person and their family background
  • How attractive he or she is
  • How much money they make or have the potential to make
  • Employment status and type of job
  • How attracted you are to the other person
  • Simply being in love...the feelings you can't explain
And I can go on....I wrote those not to say they are bad, but they can be if not carefully analyze. Read on to see why.

I have seen relationships discontinued because of what parents have to say. It is not that their input is not important, but it is not always right. Some parents, in not wanting their girl child to have the same life they had,will discourage them from being with a poor, uneducated man despite he cares dearly for their daughter. On the hand, they may go as far as forcing her on a rich, high status man who they believe can fulfill her every need. Sad to say, there are MANY situations where women have all their needs met that money can buy except the very one they truly need, but cannot be bought, LOVE! There are young ladies out there, who have recognized all the faults with their wealthy, high status, well-spoken, big house, good family, high educational status boyfriend day after day after day, but will continue to bear those faults because that is whom they want to marry, that is whom can give them the life they so greatly desire. At least that is what they think until they get the life and realise money cannot buy happiness. 

The status of no man was never important to me,but their AMBITION is. I never mind struggling to accomplish my dreams, but I never want a man in my life or the life of my family that is downright lazy and to add to that poor. Poor and lazy is not a good mix. If you are poor, that is ok, we can work on getting rich, but if you are lazy too, then who will work? So it is often important that you look at the person carefully, They love you, you love them, but you are saying...jeez is only primary school they went (you say that when you have high school or cape education) or is only high school they went (you say that when you have university education) or they are just a bag boy or a van conductor, but you care dearly for each other. What should deter you is if that primary education etc man or woman have no desire to further their studies (even as simple as getting a skill) or that bag boy don't desire to own the supermarket after moving up the chain or that van conductor does not plan on owning a van before having his own company of vans with people working with him...

Think of your own situation or maybe a friend's...Why have you choose your spouse? Are you just lucky to have a rich man who loves you and whom you love because that can happen and if it does hurray to you, but if its only about the money then something is wrong. There are a lot more I can say, but then it will may  result in a book.
Instead, I have embedded this video below from Trinidad singer Mighty Sparrow, NO MONEY NO LOVE. It is a very interesting calypso and it speaks to choice. If the man is not working when you met him and his chances of finding a job is nil given other factors or he is not even looking, but intend to sponge off you, be careful the choice you make.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Being set up with someone else by the person you like! Huh?

Have you ever gone through a situation where you are really attracted to someone or like them and they somehow felt the strange need to set you up with their friend or acquaintance? How do you deal with it and more importantly, how do you interpret it?

The life of growing up and dating is very interested. We fall in love, fall out of love,experience hands sweat, heart palpitations, butterflies in our stomach, things that may change as we matured and understand love and relationship more and more. However, those feelings I believe are part of growing up and what we have to ensure is that in enjoying these moments, we do not make any decision that we are going to regret for the rest of our lives. So you love the guy/girl, but instead he/she tries to set you up with their friend (who is dying to meet you), what do you do? 

I think what is of great importance is to establish clearly what this is telling you. Does it mean that he/she is not attracted to you, sees you simply as a friend, a brother or a sister? Is it that they are involve in a relationship and so they see the need to point you to one in spite of how they feel towards you? Do they see you as a lonely soul who needs companionship? Do they give you the impression that they are too good for you, so they find someone they think is on the same wave length with you?

It may seem difficult to pin point the answers to these, but you need to pay attention. Some persons choose to ignore and continue to force up themselves to the male/female, showering them with gifts they could hardly afford and eventually getting used and abused. Remember, you cannot make a person love you, they have to see for themselves. Just think about your own feelings towards someone who is seeking a relationship with you, but you do not want. No matter how hard they try, they cannot make you attracted to them. The same goes for you. 

If a person you like is trying to set you up with someone else, I think it says a lot. As much as it may hurt, I believe it is an indication to move on. Even if they are attracted to you, the mere fact that they see the need to set you up on a date with someone else, should inform your decision. Do not waste precious time trying to convince them of your ability to make them happy, instead invest that time in making your own self happy whether it is through pampering or exploring other avenues. 

Feel free to leave a comment or ask questions. 

Monday, 10 September 2012

TATTOOS: So what?
When I was younger, I thought about getting a tattoo. I know I didn't want any skull or other symbols that signifies danger or badness. I wanted something colourful, maybe flowers or a dove. As I matured and get into church, a lot of negatives were placed on tattoos. Although, I wasn't quite convince given the fact that tattoos represent different things to different people  (for example, some persons tattoo scriptures on their skin), I chose not to tattoo my skin.

Recently, I have seen some tattoos on different people. While some seem to no longer want to see their own skin, others chose to tattoo just one part of their body. I have seen other person's name, possible boyfriend or girlfriend, date of birth etc I have seen tattoo on hands, foot, back, leg, breast. I realized that where ever a tattoo is placed, it is to show off. What bother me though and what really prevented me from putting a tattoo on myself is the fact that it cannot be removed. What is funny is that when you are young you choose certain things that are glamorous,modern, popular, but one day you are going to get old. Majority of the persons who wear a tattoo cannot afford laser treatment.
 I saw an old lady recently with a tattoo and I thought, what she doing with tattoo lol. I then thought, she didn't put it on in her old age. It cause me to think. How many persons when they put on a tattoo wants to grow old with it? Something to think about. Maybe there is no bible verse to prevent you from taking tattoo. Maybe even if there is, you are going to do it anyway, but I say to you, if you plan to, BE VERY SURE. I was not sure at the time I thought about it, and today I am happy I didn't. When my skin has lost its elasticity, I do not want to see no tattoo. Do you? Do you want to see what you have placed and would you like where you have placed it? A tattoo might seem like a simple, popular, glamours thing that the crowd is into so I want it to, but it is also serious and this is not even from a medical standpoint. This is about you, your future. It may affect your career, your relationships, what you can or cannot tell your future children etc. It is not a ring that you can remove when you get tired, NO! Without laser treatment, it will be staring you forever. Be wise in your choices in life.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Age Beautifully Ladies

When last you look at a pic of another person maybe in their 60s and say they look great for their age or looks much younger than their age? Somehow, those persons were able to maintain a certain standard and you are impressed.  What did they do? you asked. Was it the make-up, are they rich, was it exercise, do they have the 'young' gene...sure they do, it must run in their family?

There are many persons who are are afraid of getting old, especially us females and some of us have good reason to when we look at the other females who seem to have deteriorated with age. Was it marriage, children, hard time? Some females seem to throw their hands up in the air and say I am old now, especially after children. They longer take care of their hair, their dress, their physical make-up and at times we even expect the men to accept us as we are by using the words we are no longer young. 

Now I understand, that somewhere down the line a two pounds might get added. So what? Can't we as females age beautifully? Let us find time for ourselves amidst that busy schedule. Now aging beautifully does not entail putting on certain clothing material fit for teenagers. You don't have to putting on the belly breaker, the batty rider, navel ring etc to fit into looking young...I am quite aware that some older persons can indeed pull it off, but that does not entail aging beautifully. So what should you do?

  1. Forget about the number, it is just a number and it will continue to grow. That's the reality that we cannot change. Instead of trying to cut off a few years using plastic surgery and lie about it, embrace it.  You don't have to go and tell the world now, but in your mind accept the inevitable.
  2. Have a mental picture or maybe even a physical one of how you would want to look as you age. Don't think that you cannot because of kids, work, husband, health etc. You need to find that time and if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your husband and kids. Would they complain or be extremely grateful, especially the husband? He might accept you as you are, but that doesn't mean his desire for the previous you was thrown out of the window.
  3. Dress fashionably but modestly. There is nothing that compliments an aging woman more that the way her clothes take her body.  Colours can say so much. I am happy, free, alive, well, healthy...
  4. Fix up your hair. If you are like me and not just into combing your hair daily, then braid it. A neat hairdo, does much to a woman's face and for those who wear make up, compliment it with some light make-up and lip gloss.
  5. Watch what you put into your body. I know at times we want to eat any and everything as we see fit, but realising that as you aged your metabolism slow down, we need to watch we eat and add exercise. 
  6. Be the one that people ask, what are you doing to stay that young? Yes, why should you be the one that is always asking the question.

Saturday, 1 September 2012


I am a woman, but there are times I find it very hard to understand my own species. Could it because I grew up with brothers rather than sisters? I don't know. As a child, I was more on the 'tom boyish' side.  Instead of dolly house, I preferred playing marbles and gun shooting. Even know I can remember the amount of clothes from which I tear off their buttons to play button tip. In my late teens even to this point I prefer the companion of men. Even when I dated myself, there were times I will go to the pool shop and so my pool of male friends increased. So maybe that is the reason I cannot quite understand my own species at time.

  • How can we just watch another woman and just don't like them? No reason at all. And with  that we start trying to make that other person life difficult not by simply ignoring them, but 'cutting up' our eyes when we see them, throwing words, talking negative about their dress, looks etc
  • Why do we tend to end up in a constant battle with another woman or women over a man who is OURS? If he is cheating and you have facts, go to your man to fight that war. How often do you think a man goes up to another lady and say "hey, I have a woman but I want you to?" Don't you think majority of the times, the other woman thinks she is also the only woman too and only find about you when you approach her to fight?
  • "Take the gossip out of the conversation, there is nothing to talk about" words from another wise woman. Instead of consistently talking other people without any positive objectives, talk about yourself, you might find that there is much wrong that your gossip buddy can help you to deal with.
  • Make amends. Really, how long can you keep malice for? I find that very difficult to understand how women can go on for years with malice and when you look at what cause it, all you can say is my goodness. Can't you say like me, "I don't have enemies, enemies have me." I operate like a man when it comes to these things, I say what I have to say and then I am finished and back to previous operation. I will see you the next day, like yesterday never happen unless you chose to remind me. 

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Always attracted to the wrong man
Over the years of dating, I looked at the men that I was attracted to, some I had relationships with and others I stayed far from because I would have been a fool. It is strange that many wonder how the good girls get the bad men or the good men get the bad girls. Do you think that in general ladies or men says she is bad and I want him/her in my life? I think we genuinely fall in love. So what is it that cause us to end up with a bad guy?

I don't think any woman wants a 'soft' man no matter how nice he is. We don't want anyone we can 'walk over.' We  love to feel the power and authority in a man, so sometimes we test them to see what we can get away with and if we are getting away with everything because he is sooooooo in love then after awhile we get bored. However, in choosing a man with a somewhat macho quality, we at times end up with those who hit and abuse us.

What about his dressing and demeanour? Have you ever heard "I don't want the church boy look or he too holy holy" Strange enough, we tend to be attracted to the bad boy look, the mysterious man, the one who is attractive and shows us the least attention...Sometimes I wonder 'what is that girl doing with him.' He is attractive yes and dress good, but he smokes, drinks, his mouth is consistently filled with profanity and he talks down to you. In his mind, you are lucky to have him and should put up with it because in addition to all those things he might be rich and drives. At no time does he see that he is the lucky one to have you, who are willing to put up with him. Yet, you are in love and he is the one who is very presence electrifies you...He gives you a challenge and you love that. In spite of it all the negatives, there is just something alluring about him that you can't let go. He still attracts women, but he chose you. Yes, strange enough, a lot of us feels empowered when other women are attracted to our spouse. 

So what should you do or maybe the question should be what are you willing to do? If you are looking for a long term relationship, what attracts you is not always what is good for you. So it is all up to you. The aim is to strike a balance. The sexy, mysterious, alluring man who loves you enough to respect you and not abuse you. 

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I need Space. What does it mean?
I have been in a relationship where the whole talk of space came up. I do not understand much of what it means and here is where you come in. When a person ask for space, does it mean that for a period of time you are no longer together, free to do whatever you want while evaluating your relationship, or does it mean that you are still together but would not be seeing each other for a period of time, and instead be using that time period to evaluate your relationship and see if it is worthy? In the second scenario, all the rules of the relationship are maintained.

I do not really believe in space, but I understand it can help persons to sort out themselves, their relationship and the way forward when genuine. The funny thing though is that in my experience, space is most times used when a person wants to get out of a relationship without bluntly getting out and hurting the other person involve. It is like a soft let down, where you use the time to phase somebody out of your life. Many times when space is requested, the relationship has already gone through a battle and someone is clearly fed up or bored, or one party has seen someone else they like and possibly already start talking to and they don't want to say to their spouse, 'hey, found someone else,  I am fed up of my boring life with you, I am moving on.' Yea,but how can they say that when they have already met each other's family, been together for awhile, intertwine in a network of relationships of persons known to both spouses whose voices screamed...when is the wedding? They do not know that your relationship lacks zest  and the only thing keeping you together is their voices, their friendship and not wanting to disappoint, so you ask for space.It is easier.

Well that is just my experience, what is your understanding of space, is it necessary, based on what you know or experience, is it genuine? Looking forward to your comments. 

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Friday, 17 August 2012

Premarital Counselling: How to approach it
While I was going through premarital counselling, I asked the pastor how many persons changed their minds during that time. He said none. It is not that I think premarital counselling is not important, but I think the timing is very wrong.

If you have already set your date, bought your dress and other things for the wedding, sent out invitations and you are basically planning and organizing, how likely do you think it is to change your mind if something comes up in the counselling session? I believe whatever is, either you might not hear it or you might figure you can work it out or it wouldn't be an issue after marriage. I believe you would not have an open mind. 

So my suggestion would be to start your premarital counselling as soon as you realize you are in the relationship for the long haul. Sometimes couples talk about getting married, before the engagement takes place, other times they get engage, but no date is set yet. Whatever the case, I believe premarital counselling should take place before you start planning for your wedding and definitely before invitations have been sent out. How should you approach premarital counselling?
  • With an open mind- Keep in mind the counselling is to find out if you are actually ready for marriage. The level of compromise and sacrifice marriage requires, mean that both partners must be ready for that approach.
  • Ready to communicate honestly- A lot of questions would be asked and a lot of important issues would come out during the counselling, but only if both partners are honest and communicate freely. Do not keep things in your heart because you are trying to prevent anything that might prevent your wedding. Counselling might just prevent you from making a decision that would affect the rest of your life. Remember marriage is long term and in your heart divorce should NOT be an option. Talking does not mean you would  not get married to your partner, it just help you to recognize some of the issues early, whether or not you can deal with them and how.
  • With little publicity about your wedding- Publicizing your wedding to be before counselling makes it harder if at the end you are told by your counselor to wait. Not wanting to be embarrassed, have made a lot of persons make decisions that that they now regret. If people do not know, you can put off your wedding or push back the date without any extra pressure.
  • Most importantly, willingness to change your set decision. If you are not, then counselling is not necessary. 
Maybe you have some suggestions of your own and want to share. Maybe you want to share your own experience with premarital counselling. Looking forward to hear from you.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Re-adjusting after University

How many persons find it difficult to re-adjust after returning home from university? I know I cannot be alone on this. After you spent years in another country or another part of your country depending on the size, living on your own, learning new things, observing new cultures and developing your identity, it is difficult.

At the university, I attended, there are students who do not seem to want to leave school. They may find themselves stretching out one degree, switching from degree to degree, doing more than one first degrees and when they finish school, there are some who return on evenings after work to lime on the campus. 

You see, many of us were living at home with our parents before leaving for university. For some, we never spent no big amount of time away from home and probably were sheltered with overprotective parents. So when we get to university, especially in another country, it was a new life. 

There are many whose lives are directionless after university. We return to our country only to see things have changed tremendously or it is still the old, plain, boring country or state we have left. We tried to live in our old homes, but it is hard...maybe it's too noisy, maybe our parents have not seen how we have changed and matured and still want to treat us like their young child, maybe there we do not feel free...The places to visit, may no longer interest us, our old friends might have changed...

How is it for you after leaving university? And most importantly, what aided in your readjustment?

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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Misconceptions: What would you add?

  • Once you are from a foreign country, you are rich. Yea right!
  • All Africans are black
  • All Asians are Chinese
  • The Caribbean is one place. Ever heard, "I'm going to the Caribbean?"
  • Once you have enough money, you'll be happy. 
  • All chinese know karate lol 

You can add your own, if you have or ever observe any. And remember to like the blog.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Riding First Class: My first experience

Well I am usually one to ride economy as it is what I can afford. However, I travelled First Class to Jamaica recently because it was the only flight available and I wish to share why persons may choose First Class even though it is expensive.

At the airport, besides having your luggage tagged First Class, you are given a pass for a lounge within the airport designated to you who are SPECIAL to them. I did not use it as it was up some stairs and I was not feeling well enough to climb stairs.

Then there is the in-flight service...
As soon as you sit on the plane, you are greeted by your name and offered a glass of fruit juice. Then you are given a menu with drinks and entrees to choose from. Throughout the journey you can be sipping on champagnes, liquors, fruit juices, wines etc I looked at the lady next to me as she seem to want to get her money worth. I said to myself, she wouldn't be able to stand when this plane landed. 

We had lunch in style too. First, you are brought a hot towel to wipe and clean your hands. You are on your own in economy class :) Then the attendants came by in their most courteous of tone, to find out our entree order. Our choices...Roti and curry chicken, lamp chops with potato and  steamed fish with roasted potatoes. You are also given garden salad and bread roll (choice between wheat and white) and then out comes the airline branded silverwares and table cloth.Yea! 

When think of it, your mouth can be going throughout the flight sipping on something. The only disappointment is no dessert. I found that out when the same lady next to me asked lol. Well we paid for it. Would I do it again? Maybe with my husband, once per year or 2 years lol. I can only afford economy, but for my one time, First Class was a nice treat.

Friday, 10 August 2012

Respecting and Supporting Teachers
This morning, my husband, a teacher by profession, got a call from a parent asking him to assist her child with SBA (it was suppose to be done, before school went on holidays, but he wasted time). Let me say here that teachers are on 'vacation'. I immediately remembered while I was home, on two occasions, I heard two different parents talked about they couldn't wait for the holidays over to 'get rid of' their children and the holidays of teachers being so long. 

How come teachers can have a child for 9 months during the year, for most of the day if I should add and  a parent cannot seem to be able to stand their child/children for 2 little months? I guess only teachers can have that question or parents can understand it, but as a teacher I am baffled. I am baffled at the parent who called my husband bright and early this morning to get him to come down school to assist her child with SBA, even though I understand he might need some extra help. It is just that being a teacher myself, I get the impression that many think that the 2 months holiday is too long or when you are on it you have nothing else to do but think about when the time will end so that you can go back to teach. I feel deeply that many persons do not understand the job of a teacher and the workload the position carries.

Let me share who a teacher is and what a teacher does based on my personal experience.

We are teachers whose work does not end at 3pm when we might leave school. There is not enough time in the hours given on the job to carry out the job description, which includes lesson plans, teaching, disciplining,counselling, marking and club/sporting duties etc. We are also parents to these very children. I remembered distinctly one parents' day, I spoke to a parent about her son, seeking some assistance from the mother of the child in disciplining the child, the mother instead asked for my help as the teenager would reach in the house at night though school finishes at 3pm. I realised then that I had more power than the parent as she begged me please to help her. I also found out that there are students who trust, respect and listen to teachers more than their own parents. Believe it or not. The things we have to listen to and counsel these students about and the encouragement a good teacher would give to motivate their students to excel, some parents never give to their children. 

Still there are times, when parents come with their child on their child's words without even seeking the entire truth from both sides, ready to 'beat up' teachers, our salaries are still small and the 'vacation' given throughout the year still seems too much for us. About that vacation, I choose to put it inverted commas because at any time we can be called during that time for workshops etc. It is not really ours. We are still expected to apply for our true vacation, but we are expected to apply when school is out. Aren't we then restricted? Hmmm.That is not an issue still. What I would request though is respect and support for teachers and when school is out, give us the time to spend with OUR families with no interruptions. 

Monday, 6 August 2012

I love track and field. It is probably the only sport I can watch LIVE without getting bored.

So I listened as the women's 100m final was announced. Pryce was my girl to the end. I watched the Semis leading up to it and I knew Jetter would have been the competition, but she pushed hard in the Semis while my Pryce simply cruised. So I figured even if she should win, she would have to work EXTREMELY hard. 

The ladies were ready to race, but no way were they as scared as I was. I could not sit, I could not stand. I went to the foot of my husband, palms covering my eyes. I peered through my fingers as the shot went off, it was somewhere in the middle of the race, I realised my hands were no longer over my eyes, but I am not sure if I was breathing. The next thing I knew I was screaming through sounds of screams, shouts, horns etc in Jamaica. Yes!!! Pryce had won and to all who thought differently I said "Pryce to the World"

My next big race was the men's 100m. This would have been my favourite because I love to see men run. I watched Asafa slowed down in his Semis as if he never wanted to win or maybe he thought he was way out front or maybe he never wanted to compete in the finals under so much pressure, I don't know, but I found it strange he slowed down to third position, then had to wait to be a fastest loser.
I then watched Bolt flew past his competitors and when he slowed down, I knew he had reasons to, after all he was a metre or more in front his competitors. I looked for to the Semis with Blake, the beast and Gay. Of course Blake was going to win, but again I could not breathe, I could not watch and then CURRENT  WENT... JPS ARE YOU SERIOUS? I was so upset. I am in Jamaica, the fastest runners are Jamaicans, how can JPS (the electrical company), do this to meeeeeeeeeee.....

You know I had to watch the replay later that day, but it was not the same. I had gotten the information via facebook and BBM before. I knew who the winner was. Hmmm... I welcomed the anxiety and the adrenalin rushing through my veins during these track and field. I like not being able to sit, wanting to use the bathroom, afraid to look, covering my eyes with my hands or a blouse...JPS took that away from me, but still I salute the Jamaican runners. You did again!!! To boy!

Saturday, 28 July 2012

The Mother-in-law Situation: Monster or Mother?

In all my life of dating and relationships, I  had never a mother-in-law who never liked me or who give me a hard time. Even now that I am married, my mother-in-law and I get along just fine, but I have heard some stories about the effects of the mother-in-law. There are some mother-in-laws who cannot let go of their ADULT child, they do not respect his/her choice and their main objective is to exercise all authority in ensuring the relationship ends. 

I remember saying to my husband when he was taking me home for the first time, if your mother doesn't like me, that's it. It might have sounded like a joke, but I was pretty serious. I had no intention of spending my life battling no mother-in-law and given that my husband is an only male, that would have been a serious battle. Now you may say, once the son loves you, then what it has to do with the mother-in-law, and I will say plenty, for I have heard about mother-in-laws who destroyed relationships and marriages. Sadly, the love from the son/daughter for you is not enough, for he is torn between his love for you (who just came on the scene) and the mother (who was there from his birth). It takes a strong, JUST, seriously in love and committed man/woman to look their mother right in their eyes and say "Mom, can you give us a chance to work this out by ourselves or I'll appreciate it if you would keep out of our marriage or you need to respect my wife/husband and our relationship even though you do not like her/him..." In fact, I think a woman quicker use those words to their mother, than a son.

Now my question to you is do you think you should get involve with a son even though his mother does not like you? How would you deal with a mother-in-law who doesn't like you? Do you see the relationship between a wife and her mother-in-law as important? And finally how should you treat a mother-in-law who does not like or even respect you? It would be nice if we can get some points as to the way forward in terrible relationships with mother-in-law.

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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Should I get married?

It is the dream of many that one day, they will get married. Some persons even have the age by which they should get married and have kids. It is also the dream, hope or expectation of many that their marriage will last. However, in today's modern society, two things are obvious: a lot of women who wants to get married are yet to realise this dream and the percentage of persons divorcing, especially within the church is increasing considerably. As a result the question of many is, Should I get married? In order to get a lasting marriage, there are certain things to consider.

  1. Why do you want to get married? This is a very important question because so often people go into marriage with just the idea of marriage, but not the understanding of marriage. So the spouse is rich, high society, come from a good family and that is how I see my life...with a rich man/woman who has a name that the world will say she married a ... etc For some it is based on age. I cannot wait no longer I want to get married and so without considering all the other factors they rush for the ring. Others consider the time they are together and no marriage hasn't bee called. Can you believe we together 5 years and nothing, is what he waiting for and before you know it the man feels pressured into marriage. Now this by itself is a blog so can go on to much here. Some look at all their friends get married and married out of envy...'I want to get married to.' Some it is simply to have legal sex. They do not want to fornicate. Now I am not saying that this cannot be in the reasons for getting married but it cannot be the only reason or you should not feel pressured into marriage only for this. 
  2. Do we love each other? So often persons still equate love with 'butterflies in stomach' or attraction. Should you get married and an accident cause your spouse face to burn would you still love her/him and cherish her/him? When you think of him/her, do you think more of giving than receiving? What defines your love? If at every corner you are seeing the physical and tangible things, something is wrong. 1 Corinthians 13 gives some good characteristics of what love is and when the word long suffering is mentioned, it is no lie. Look up and study the meaning of the word and then ask yourself, Do I love him/her?
  3. Are we committed to each other? Right at the top with love is commitment. Many persons claim to love, but cannot commit. I think that is the reason why sometimes people cheat on their spouses but at the end of the day, they would not leave their wife/husband to go with the matey. They love but are not committed (although this is debatable). When you are thinking about marriage, it should not only be about whether or not you are committed, but if both of you are committed to each other. How do you know? Well this might very well be dependent on your experience with your spouse and there is no clear cut way of knowing, but if he has cheated or there are many rumours of cheating, watch yourself. Be vigilant and open when deciding to continue in this relationship to marriage or end it now?
  4. Is there anything I am afraid to say/ask now and is waiting after marriage to say? In thinking about getting married, this is of great importance. Ask and say all the things before and get the reaction/answers. Do not hold back things because you fear he/she will break up with you and you think that after the marriage he would not. NONSENCE! If he doesn't break up with you after you say whatever after marriage, and it was something serious that might have caused a break-up prior to marriage, then your marriage might just move from heaven to hell.
  5. How do we treat each other now? Somehow in relationships, persons put up things for when they get married. That is why so often you hear, this person change etc. The way you behave in your girlfriend/boyfriend relationship should be no different in your marriage, if anything it should get better. The question is therefore, what is the relationship like now, how do you deal with issues, do your argue a lot and use abusive words towards each other, are you CONTENT with each other? Do we compromise, who compromises the most and why, am I willing to live like that.