Thursday, 18 February 2016

Women Love Sex Too!

As I continue my series on Healthy, Happy Marriages, I believe the topic 'Women Love Sex Too' is quite appropriate and relevant. On Valentines eve, at my church Couples Huddle, which is a dinner put on each year by our couple's ministry, the importance of sex in a relationship and the reminder that men should remember that the pleasure was also for women was again reiterated. As the place roared in laughter at the very entertaining speech by the guest speaker, who was 69 years old and got married for the first time at age 58, I looked around at the many couples present. I looked at the blushes on some faces, the excitement in others and the wondering look of some who seem to be still wondering whether sex should ever be discussed or even mentioned by church people. For the majority of us however, we welcome that in trying to rekindle that fire, intimacy and sex is part of it and so I want the male spouses to know that we love sex too.

Husbands, we are not only here to give pleasure. We want to receive it too.So do not think sex finishes when you ejaculate. At that time we might just be getting started. DO NOT BE SELFISH! Spend some time caressing whatever will carry us to the point that you have reached. If you do not know where or what to caress, then their lies a huge problem. Figure that out first. Yes, we know, sometimes it might appear as if we will never get there, but try. Do not be like Courtney Walsh, drawing on the words of the Guest Speaker's 72 years old husband, who just want to make one big SIX, does not examine the field and often times get out before we meet the winning score. The latter being my words. Rather, be like Brian Lara. Do I need to explain? Examine the field and place the ball in the area that will give you optimum runs, and prevents you from getting bowled out. Sixes and fours are good, but slowing down for the one and two runs are also good too. At this time, I am remember Jimmy Adams, but we do not want it to be to drawn out without no runs. We also know Lara was known for breaking and setting records and at the end, all fans were happy.

Now the worse thing than not having any sex, is having unsatisfactory sex. 


  • A woman should never just be there waiting for you to finish so they could go to sleep. There are times we really are not in the mood, but if you push us into having sex, at least try to get us in the mood and I KNOW this is possible.

  • Unsatisfactory sex can leave a woman more stressed out than having no sex at all. I have read several articles on the benefits of sex and one that always pop is that sex helps to reduce stress. Now I beg to differ. GOOD sex reduces stress. If at the end, you are ready to turn over and sleep and we are still bottled up with energy and emotions that were on the verge of exploding, but for some reason  never happened, then it can be extremely frustrating and the good rest that good sex often brings will not happen.

WIVES as a point of Order...Sometimes you need to TALK. Do not just settle for giving, but not receiving and carry yourself around haggard and frustrated because of penned up energy that is weighing you down. Sometimes, the husbands just may not know and think all is well and in TALKIMG, assisting them in finding out the areas that gets you going. Lastly, STOP PRETENDING. Some of you pretend too much and fool the men. They cannot learn if we behave like if, while in the act, he is doing an excellent job when in your mind you are not having fun.

I am not going to downplay the importance of sex in a marriage and therefore we must realize that for us to enjoy our sexual lives, both partners must be enjoying this intimacy.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Spice up your Marriage with Creative Gifts: My Valentines Gift from my Husband

In many relationships, specific occasions such as valentines, birthdays and anniversaries are marked by the gifts given from one spouse to another. The seriousness of this is that at times, if the day is forgotten, it can create conflict between the spouses. I believe that these days, more so birthdays and anniversaries are sacred and should be celebrated. However, my focus today is not so much on the days, but what is given on the day.

Often times, traditional gifts such as flowers, chocolates, perfumes, lingerie. jewelries,  and teddy bears are gifts some spouses receive. These are lovely gifts, but can be very costly. You may say you know the day approaching so put some money aside. That may be true, but one must always remember your household resources. Your husband may not always be able to give you as expensive a gift as Jack give to his wife Jill, but the gift may just as be as nice. Apart from that, I love a creative man.

I am a simple person and while I enjoy an occasional going out, I can have just as much fun renting a movie, popping some corn and having it with Pepsi under a sheet on a couch. This Valentines I smiled my faced off with the gift my husband offered. The decision was made not to spend on any valentines gift, especially since his birthday was in the same month. We had to be creative.

I decided that I am going to capture our history with pictures in a journal we bought at the very beginning of our marriage. Now we bought this journal and decided that whenever we feel like, we will take it up and right something to each other. He has written a poem for me and other love notes and I have written numerous things, but sadly, we often neglect to write. Still I shared my love to him with pics in the journal on valentines day, but it could not compare to his gift. He created tangible, affordable activities on a piece of paper!

His offered me a gift certificate that he used a letter size paper to do. I could not careless about the paper or his artistic skills, because what was on it had me smiling my face off and show that he was thinking about my happiness. So below are some pics I have taken of it and these are what were written, in no particular order. You will notice that he was very considerate of my needs.

  • MASSAGE with no benefits. Valid for 3 uses. Now I loveeeeee massages and my husband has been doing this quite regularly, but with benefits so the no benefits part is important
  • FREE PASS- Decline any sexual advance made. Valid for 3 uses. I do not normally find excuses but this is a good one to have. What do you think?
  • SATISFY ME- Get your own way sexually. Full attention to your details. Valid...No Expiration lol.....Interesting that this has no expiration huh? 
  • LAZY DAY- Pass any chores and put your foot up. Valid for 3 uses. Now we share chores in our home, but here I have an opportunity to decide not to cook, wash or clean. Thank you Lord!!!
  • ALONE TIME- Get your own space to rejuvenate. Valid for 3 uses. If/When you have a child, you will understand how important this is.

To the SWEETEST MAN I know with love.

Dedicated to my husband.