Friday, 1 April 2016

When a Woman beats a Man: Domestic Abuse and Societal Response

It was only a few months ago, a video popped on Facebook of a woman in the Seaview community, Kingston Jamaica, beating a man who was not even retaliating. I looked at the video as she burst bottles in his head and as one broke, she took up another while holding him at the collar.

What was disturbing?

People stood there for most parts enjoying a show.

Some were videotaping, more so as entertainment rather than evidence.

Yesterday, again there was a similar video on Facebook. 

This time in my homeland, St.Vincent, in the community of Calder. A big, tall 'strapping' woman collared an old, short, grayed man and slapped him till his face began to bleed. He sat on the ground while pleading with persons looking on or passing by for help and what the woman did while he is there screaming? She lift up her heavy, bleached out foot and kicked him.

I listened to the laughter in the background and my blood boiled in vexation. 

How would this have been different if the men was beating on these women?
How many persons would have rushed into help?
Is the reaction of police/law enforcers different when it is the man that is getting beating?

Let me tell you how people would have reacted it was a woman getting the licks. Many would have rushed to her rescue. Instead of laughing in the background, you would hear people cursing the man and someone would have called the police. The police would have locked that man up and even if they only see the video, I believe they would have investigated.

Why not when it is the opposite way around?

I wondered, do persons have to report crime before charges are pressed? Suppose these persons fear for their lives and so are afraid to report it? Can these videos that have gone viral on social media act as evidence?

I have witnessed firsthand the abuse of woman by man and it changed my life forever. I vowed I would never be hit by no man. I felt my mother had taken enough  for us both. I warned every guy I have ever dated. I begged them please, for the sake of my life and theirs, they walk a way because I will not take a hit from no man. So you understand even more why these situations make me mad

My disturbance is not only about men beating woman, I am also very pissed by the opposite. These women prey on men who either cannot help themselves or who they know would not retaliate. And yes, at times,  I asked myself, where is your manhood? Retaliate and hit her hard! It upsets me that much and I should not think like that, but when I see women beating men, the picture that comes to mind is when someone throw water on an abused street dog (especially mongrel dogs) or hit them, how they run screaming with their tails between their legs. so this gets me extremely mad and I wondered where are there families?

We are in a age where words such as GENDER BALANCE, GENDER EQUALITY, GENDER EMPOWERMENT are echoed by international and local organizations. 

For most parts, these are all about making things right for women and I agree we need this. However, the above videos highlight some issues that we need to deal with even as we talk Gender.

There are some men who needs to be empowered!
Society's perception towards domestic abuse of men needs to be changed!
Some women needs psychological help because they are worse than many men!