Unequally Yolk Relationships: What you might not think of?
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV
Look back on your life and how many times you have heard that statement. Now look at how often you have disobeyed. Growing up in church, I not only hear this scripture and was a part of numerous discussions on the topic in youth groups, on camps, on the roadside etc. Light cant mix with darkness, young people if the young man/woman is not a Christian and you are, you are unequally yolk. How many times we disobey...PLENTY and notice I said WE. I think I am qualify to talk it. Here are the reasons/excuses why we date unsaved men/women:
- The men/women in the church worse than the women outside. Do you remember saying that?
- He/she is soo nice. They dont drink/smoke or party. The only thing is they are not a Christian YET.
- I am sure I can influence him/her to come into church. He/she cannot make me do what I don't want to do I am STRONGER. We may even quote or remember then...Greater is he that is in us that in the world
- All the good men/women in the church taken and the rest that remains are either family, ugly or you are just not interested.
I'll stay there, but I am sure you can add a few. I am not going to say your reasons are wrong because it is what we think when we are in love with someone we are being asked to give up...after you have 'fallen in love' it is very hard to just walk away. I know and so the art would be avoiding the situation in the first place as you know it is WRONG and even then it is hard. Well having gotten married to a Christian, I am going to give you a twist and reasons you should consider if you are saved and dating an unsaved. I am not going to force you to make a decision. I want you to think it through. Here are my reasons why it is best to date and marry to a Christian man instead of an unsaved:
- Fornication- Whether you are a Christian/non-Christian, at some point the two partners are going to be faced with SEX. Lets not pretend here. Too long we act as if when you are saved then sex does not take place. The only difference is, when you say STOP/ I CANNOT, a true Christian will understand the reason behind this without you having to give an explanation, and would know that path is wrong and would struggle with you to put the necessary measures in place to avoid sexual encounters. In addition, a true Christian partner does not pressure you into sex. Most times when sex happen between Christians, the devil makes it easier because he wants us to fail.
- Dating becomes easier. If he/she spends his weekends clubbing, what would you do? Finding places to go that both of you would be contented with is easier. You don't have to hear the word COMPROMISE because as a Christian there are some things we cannot compromise with
- Finally, married life. If most of you get into a relationship with a long term mentality, then how do you intend to spend it? You begging him/her to go to church this one Saturday/Sunday with you? You seeing him/her only when the child is being christen? You cannot pray/fast together because the partner is not interested. Knowing your spouse is hell bound, you have to spend your time fasting and praying for their salvation. When an argument arise, then what? You as the Christian would want to apply the word of God, like dont make the sun go down on your anger, while your spouse doesnt understand that. He/she might even use certain curse words. What about adultery?
Now I am saying all these things, and you might already be searching for excuses especially if you are involved that way. You might say things like, even Christian people it happens with etc. I would say here that there is a difference, even though we may not see it, when God is working on the conscience, which is what will happen if both partners are Christians. The fight is no longer yours alone but God's, but if one partner is outside Christ, the strength of the enemy is increased as one partner has completely closed the door of their heart to allow God to enter in and purge.
Think about it and looking forward to hearing from you.
What about being unequally yolked in more classic ways? Money, education, and even in your individual perspectives and fundamental humanitarian beliefs?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can give me some insight into that part of it. I was looking at it from the scripture stand point and in terms of relationships. I would love to hear your views about in those classic ways
DeleteI believe whether or not you are looking at it from the scripture standpoint,being unequally yolked must include your spiritual, humanitarian, etc belief. We must be yolked with people who are like minded in terms of role and status of women, people who have similar educational aspirations at least. It seems to me that many marriages fail inside and outside the church because men and women disagree on things as simple as 'how invested one should be in their job'. Its dangerous to apply scriptural guidelines to only 'inside the church' examples. Whether believers or not we have to be guided by Christian principles- in this part of the world at least. Besides even the scripture standpoint can be applied to more secular 'yolks' between Christians can it not? As a Christian are you satisfied being yolked with a believer only? Do you not also have to consider that persons education, finances, family and their general nature? Or is it once you are with a Christian they automatically have good principles that match yours. I have seen far too many Christian marriages fail not because of spiritual and religious beliefs but because of more secular reasons: money, training the kids, advancing your education, pursuits in business, even how to spend a Friday night. I imagine God wants Christians to consider how we are joined to others in religious and non religious ways for a happy lasting marriage.
DeleteI understand where you are coming from and agree with your directions. I am not certain to what extent the scripture verse can be applied to it because it specifically talked about unequally yolk between believers and unbelievers, but you are right in stating that in relationship persons should compliment each other or be compatible. I believe that is the aim for most people who enter the relationship, but the points that you have brought up such as how invested one should be in their job, money, training the kids, advance in relationship etc create a more complicated situation. For example, before you get involved persons might be on the right track mentally as to what they want and may feel that they are very compatible, but a few years within the marriage, certain situations force them to invest in their job more than expected, investing the money discussion is not as simple as you thought it would be etc. Even with the educational advancement... I am not sure if you mean that the two persons should have the same educational level. That is even more complicated.A couple might get married with a high school diploma only, they had all intentions to advance themselves but within the marriage different situation (maybe kids)prevented both of them from acquiring that dream. Or are you saying that a marriage should not happen between 2 persons with different level of education? I remember ending a relationship because my partner at the time lack ambition. So while you are right in the whole idea of compatibility, it is much more complicated to use the scripture in certain aspects of what you are saying and to determine on certain factors such as investment, children etc as these problems usually come out later in marriage even though your intentions before marriage might have shown that both of you are compatible and think alike.
DeleteThat is exactly what the Bible means too because if we belong to different churches we willdefinitely not be in line educationally, meaning we would not be learning the same things and it would forever be a problem if there is no compromise to belong to the same church. The same is true for the person outside of the church . The church is a university u know and therefore it is so important that you date members of your own church. Mind you some have disobeyed God and because of his grace and mercy the Holy Spirit impresses on the unbeliever to surrender to Christ. This must never be used as example to disobey God and such persons should repent of that sin before God
ReplyDeleteI do not think that the scripture has anything to do with education, money etc. It speaks about the spiritual aspect of it. It is about light and darkness. Christian marriages get broken up by different issues steming from these because they did place GOD AS THE HEAD of there marriage. You can't be a true christian in a marriage given to you by God and it break up because of these petty thing- NEVER HAPPEN. NOTE: you can be a christian and God is not at the head of your marriage. So read the scipture verse again.
DeleteYou are quite correct, but I wouldn't use the word church, but doctrine. For example, adventist vs pentecostals or those who worship on Sunday. There are many denominations of churches and if you look at some doctrines, they are no different from another church or they may be slightly different in that one say cover your head or one dont believe in musical instruments. The scripture used above talked about believers with unbelievers...funny enough all churches believe in God, but their teachings are different so I would say, why get into a relationship with a person with a different doctrine that you dont agree with. After marriage, are you going to attend different churches and when you have kids, which church would they go? To me, you are creating unnecessary problems for yourself
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