Me and the Kettle

Ah shudda listen the first time mommy call

To come wash the dishes and clean the yard

But with me eyes glue on the tv and me legs sprawl

Me pretend me na hear, and turn to card

As a black woman pickney why me behave hard ears?

And wait on the second call when she voice done change

Ah shudda come out the house with my face showing fear

Instead of the frown and push mouth at such a close range

She grab me by the collar with her face so fierce

Her voice expressing the price I’ll pay

Ah feel the sting as my skin was pierce

From slaps that wipe the frown away

Ah twist and turn until ah get free

Then run down the hill at a fast pace

Ah knew that mommy couldn’t outrun me

So ah figure that was the end of the case

Clung, clung, clung on the coconut tree

Ah kettle bounce off close to me head

Ah mek one duck, ah drop to my knee

Ah said this was it, ah thought ah was dead

 Hahaha me cousin dem laugh out

Oh lard, the kettle nearly out e light

All that time mummy continue to shout

Me still on the ground ah tremble with fright

For months to come is ‘bout the kettle track and field

Me cousin and dem still ah laugh at me

But all me learn ah pickney who na hear ah feel

And next time mommy call, get up and do me duty

Ah Swallow me Tonsil

 So daddy wake me brothers ah early morning

All the “Rise and Shine” couldn’t stop the turning

With the dew and the coldness, their mouths were push

At the thought of walking through all the bush

By evening time dem had a change in mood

So dey look fi mango, orange and other food

As the sun get hot, daddy send them home

But that was the time they choose to roam

Up and down Missa Bayee land

Dey run and jump to touch the banana hand

Dem know for sure if Missa Bayee did see

He wudda curse and shout and complain to mammie

Yet just for fun Jacob pretend

Look Missa Bayee ah come around the bend

He tek off with one piece ah lightning speed

Sure that Rufus wud follow his lead

Like a road runner he head down di track

Him neva even see the banana tie-back

De piece ah string give him one clothesline,

He fall so hard, nearly bruk him spine

Yet Jacob hold he throat with fear on him face

No longer concern about winning the race

Me brother run to him full up ah fright

Cause Jacob seem ready to read his last rite

Rufus hear a weak croak, when he try fi counsel,

“Call daddy, tell him me swallow me tonsil.”

Rufus eyes light up, there were laughs galore

Him belly starting hurting, he cudn’t tek it no more

This was no joke for Jacob at the time

He was still in shock, thinking he gwine dead in e prime

But this didn’t stop Rufus who was now on the ground rolling

He cudn’t wait to reach home and tell arwe everything

If anything, is me mammie ah blame

If this was public me brother wudder shame

If yo touch up yo tonsil, she put it in we head,

It go fly down we throat and kill arwe dead

For years to come we still laugh at de joke

Even at times imitating Jacob croak

But even though we all find dis story so funny

It just goes to show the influence of yo mammie

Two Jack ah Lantans?

 So daddy tell we a story one moonlit night

About a period in life when there was no street light

Two men travelling from opposite directions

They couldn’t see their hands, they were dark in complexion

Briskly they walked, along the long winding road,

No fear for the crickets, the owl or the toad,

But when their head connect and they saw something flash,

They didn’t stop to wonder or see with what they clash,

For they both heard the stories about the Jack ah lantan

That travel at night to suck blood from human,

They didn’t wear no skin, and had eyes like fire,

So no need to halt; who would stop to enquire?

So off they sped in the direction from which they came,

They will sleep at a rum shop with no pain and no shame,

For this situation has left others dead

Not with some bruises and simply a bump on their heads

The next day will come, they would let others know,

About the Jack ah lantan that travel the streets of Mespo,

But what are the chances, said one man to another,

That these men stories are so similar to each other?

Could it be that they were both very drunk?

And the flash appeared from when their heads clunk?

Though reasoning was sound, convinced were the men,

It must be two jack ah lantans, we nar walk that road again

Gun Shooting Reinvented

Me na dead, me na dead

My cousin Jack often cried

The bullet na catch me,

‘Cause behind the tree I hide

The shooter was angry as he tried to explain

I see you clear, clear, clear

You move from the tree into the plain

But the issue remained impossible to resolve

With no proof of wound, who can say

Who was right or wrong

So up came an idea into another’s head

Let’s reinvent the game, let’s use green banana instead

No more pow pow pow with sticks call guns

We will sail a banana and knock you down

Truth be told, it was more about the ouch and pain

If you get hit by the banana, who can complain?

For sure yo will dead now, Jack the shooter express

Ah go mek sure the banana stain left pon’ yo chess

So the new gun shooting start with a bang

Every man line up with green bananas in their hand

It was game for the athletic and those with no fright

Banana ah sail to the left and to the right

Murder oye, you hear a man shout

Everybody know say Johnny Brown out

Jack was grinning, ah kill um dead

Ah bet he na say, he na dead he na dead

Others laughed though they hid behind trees

Gun shooting reinvented, was a done deal,

A game that continued till the last man stand

With a grin on his face and a green banana in his hand

Jumbie Stories Sweet

Three small picknies sit by the outside kitchen

Not sure if them ready fi the story to begin

Daddy tipped the flambo with a smirk on his face

The light was now bright, but still our hearts race

Our eyes tear opened as he started the first

About the river bridge in Mespo whey people say curse

With no electricity during those times

The pitched black night was when the ghost chose to shine

In a long white dress, she often appears

No man too big for her to instil in them fear

We jumped a little as daddy screeched out her sound

The place was so silent we can hear our hearts pound

Go bring me the salt mummy shouted to my brother

The silence was broken as we looked at each other

Daddy started to laugh at the look on his face

But mommy was upset and started to pace

Why you does frighten the pickney them, she shouted at him

Na dem want hear jumbie stories, he replied with a grin

Go follow him, he said, all three ah you go

Nothing na dey in the house to frighten aryo

We took a lighted candle and headed in the house

Nobody talking, we quiet like a mouse

Our toes were being mashed by each other’s feet

No one wanted the back, no one wanted to lead

We shuffled along till we got to the table

The shackle of fear no longer had us disabled

For as my brother grabbed the salt we all rush for the door

Although Jumbie story sweet, we never want hear no more

A second will come, but on another night

Once we get a good rest and sleep off the fright

Maybe next time we go hear about Jack o’ Lantern

Frog with bow tie or the Obeah man

Copyright Rose-Ann Smith 2014

YUH MI WAAN FI DEH WID

YUH MI WAAN FI DEH WID
- by Joan Andrea Hutchinson ©2007

Even  if yuh put on fifty pound
Even if yuh sick an mawga down
Even if yuh bleach di black fi fayva brown
A yuh  mi waan fi deh wid

Even if yuh foot shape like afoo yam
An yuh hand look like song of di banana man
Even if yuh claim rasta but a quietly lick di ham
A yuh mi waan fid eh wid

So even doah yuh behaving like a clown
An yuh name a call all over town
A yuh mi still waan fi be around
A yuh mi waan fi deh wid

"Thug no show love"

THUG NO SHOW LOVE
- by Joan Andrea Hutchinson ©2007

Baby mi love yuh and yuh done well and know
But a guy can’t too meck him feelings show
Yuh feel mi love and dat suppose to enough
But man a man and man haffie flex tough
So no expect mi fi come wid no lovey dovey love
Cause man a thug, an thug no show love

Mi will tidy house an help yuh wash plate
Change baby diaper, iron cook an bake
Wash yuh hair an massage yuh body all night long
Hug up an dance like grandpa when mi hear love song
But outa street mi no eena di smoochie smoochie love
For man a thug, an thug no show love

Most people no know say mi have a romantic side
Mi will give yuh sweet an tender loving till yuh clide
At home mi will bow, cause yuh control di remote
An mi ready fi go front a parson go teck  oath
But John Public no haffie know  bout mi romantic love
For man a thug … an thug no show love