Monday 28 May 2012

Virginity, Virginity: Where is thy value, Where is thy worth?

I always thank God for the high school I went to, the St. Joseph's Convent Kingstown. It might not have been my first choice, but it was the right choice. I am even more grateful for the clasmates I met and the friends I have gained and here is apart of my story on why.

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/how-to-draw-a-cartoon-girl.htm
Virginity was highly valued. It was overly preached within our circle and we treated ourselves as trophy wives to be. We even give our group names relating to our purity. It was so much valued that when most of us got into college, we continued in the same frame of mind and when persons felt that they were ready for sex, there was like a consultation, not to ask permission, but to say I am ready. Even then we had each other back, trying to ensure that the person is at least worthy of having it, by getting all the street dirt we can get on them. I can attribute my high regard for virginity to attending a convent school that was so highly disciplined, but I would rather attribute it to the friends I have met and surrounded myself with at the school.

Today, I wonder how is virginity viewed? It seems like the opposite is now happening and to be a virgin is the 'bad thing'. When did this shift happen and what is responsible for that shift? Men still desire to lay with virgins, some only to boost their own ego by counting how many girls' virginity they have stolen, others for moral reasons, wanting to be only guy to have slept with a girl. It would seem though that the men who simply want to boost their ego are in the greater percentage and while most time girls give themselves to their boy friends in a somewhat fairy tale happily ever after story before hitting reality, it is not the case for men. We then have a lot of young ladies growing up with a lot of regrets and a past they wished they can go back and change...Too Late! I often says sex is like opening a pan of pringles; the slogan is once you pop you can't stop. It is easier to maintain a virginity than to start to have sex and then try to maintain what is sometimes called a "secondary virginity" (there is no such thing though).

I believe though that being a virgin put you on a pedestal, just as it was for us in high school. There is a kind of self worth that you have that cannot be easily taken away and you can always keep your head a little higher than the rest knowing that no matter how much the young man crave for you, how much he wants to boost his ego, how much he tried to undermine your worth, he can never use these words: SHE IS EASY, I SLEPT WITH HER...AND MY BRETHREN TOO, SHE IS JUST PLAYING WHAT SHE ISN'T.

8 comments:

  1. Most young girls don't understand the value of what they have. They don't seem to understand how much value they ought to place on themselves either. While I will not force religion on anyone and declare my beliefs and the Bible's clearl stance on the matter, I just want young women of today to value themselves and their bodies and wait, wait until they are sure they have made the right decision and is able to deal with whatever repercussions may result from having sex. I didn't realize how much my virginity meant to me until it was taken away from me by fource by my stepfather. When I realized I never had the opportunity to make the decision how I thought it would be. Its been more than 10 years now and I still wake up crying about it. I have forgiven him, I am now able to speak to him but I can't get over how that choice was taken from me.

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    1. I am so happy you share your views because as you said some of us are not as fortunate to keep our virginity because we were abused, and every day we have to live with the regret, even after forgiving, that we did not have the choice of whom we choose to give. I am so grateful to God that you share this. And it is really not about religious beliefs, even though God knew what he was doing when he said no sex before marriage. In high school, it was about morals and what the school stands for and the group of us who chose to abide by those morals. Surrounding yourself with the right people is so important. Today, a lot of young girls and men, surround themselves with persons who encourages and at times force them into giving up that precious gem. Virginity is looked upon as nothing and no one cannot see it is nothing that money can buy and once it is gone you can never get back, it just how shows how precious it is. Thanks again and feel free to keep in touch.

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  2. It seems that the times have changed the view of virginity. When i was growing up it was a highly looked upon when a woman was a virgin & much more when she waited until marriage as the bible says to do. Now it seems as if people have turned a blind eye to the teachings of the bible, & they get involved in all immoralities, end of getting babies & are not married. Its so disgusting! Being at convent Sister Pat taught us alot about purity and christianity & how to save ourselves until marriage, of course some of us did, but others chose to live in the things of the world. It has now become the norm for people to get involved in pre maritial relations as most people i see now live together and are not married, and they have kids. I can never understand why!!! At school a very dear friend of mine told me im too old fashioned. I guess thats how its viewed today.

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    1. You are right. I do not know about the other high schools, but the convent schools were big on virginity and we can understand why. There were even times the boys referred to as nuns, but you know what happened? We end up around the wrong people. If you are not a Christian, there is some fool who is going to say what is the big deal. The idea of virginity and keeping yourself until marriage is looked upon as something Christians do, but we ignore the greater repercussions. When most girls have sex for the first time, it is because they are in love, but most times they have sex with someone who have gone through it many times, someone who might not even be in love but just want to beat his chest like a gorilla. After you have passed that first sex stage, it takes a lot to bring you back. Heart broken and confused, many other guys come along and never have to try as hard as the first one and then you are out there in the wilderness...your precious gem has gone, along with a lot of self respect and self esteem. The situation can even change the very character and nature of the person who lost their virginity. Having to live in a world with men who think they are easy. We need to understand that even outside of Christianity, given up your virginity is not a choice to be taken lightly.

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  3. Men who think like that are confused & disgusting. There are those who go bragging after they have "claimed" a woman's virginity as if! I agree, it is very difficult for the woman after that, as it can scar someone for life.Half the time the first partner is not who they end of marrying either.

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    1. Half the time, these men are immature and looking for ratings from their friends. It is therefore up to a woman to secure her precious gem, if it gets stolen then she can never blamed herself.

      They guys are even more cunning than before. There are some who would be as patient as can be and even makes her feel comfortable to the point that she says, here take it. That is why its best to wait until we get married, but given that we are not living in a utopian society, my advice is to be vigilant and know all choices have their consequences. What consequences are you willing to bear?

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  4. So what about if a guy is a virgin? Wont girl get the same ego boost to say they took a guys virginity and that guy is theirs?

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    1. I would love to think so, but women are different. A virgin women might want a virgin man or she might say she already a virgin so she wants someone experienced. You might find more Christian women wanting virgin husband In today's world though to say you are a man and is a virgin is really looked down upon by both men and women. It is like its unbelievable and you haven't a clue what you are doing and given the fact that a lot of women are not virgins, they do not want to waste time teaching no man who they believe should know what they are doing. However, I would hope as I stated before that if a girl find a virgin man that she would be honoured to know that she is his first, I would be.

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