Thursday, 19 July 2012

7 Ways of Overcoming the soft spot for your Ex
People break up in many different ways and rarely does the two partners come together and say this is not working for these reasons, let us just try to be friends. Often break ups are ended by one person and leave the other person feeling hurt, although at times the same person who ends the relationship can also be the same one being hurt (Example, breaking off a relationship with a cheater). In extreme cases, persons have committed suicide because of the ending of their relationship. 

While some persons move on with their lives without looking back after a break up, there are some who remain single and are fearful of getting into another relationship and others who have moved on but still are hang up on their ex. Many times you might hear about persons who have break-up several times in one relationship. While in some cases, this is due to a hasty decision, in lot of the cases it is because of the SOFT SPOT that we cannot get pass. How can you get over that soft spot for your ex?

  1. TREAT HIM LIKE AN EX. Do not maintain a friendship. The only conversation that you should have is Hi and byes. Don't ever tell yourself you can handle a friendship once you still have feelings for him.
  2. No social dating. So often you hear, lets have a drink, it's only a movie etc Any contact that goes beyond the single word hi/hello should be avoided
  3. Erase the telephone number from your phone and if possible your mind. Do no accept any calls from him and avoid calling him.
  4. Occupy yourself with positive actions and positive thinking. Try not to be idle as these provide spaces for a walk down memory lane that often relates to the GOOD TIMES. But if you should walk down memory lane, REMEMBER WHY HE BROKE YOUR HEART AND HOW HE DID IT. This ought to get you back on track. Remember also it might very well be you left him  and if that is the case ponder on those reasons. DO NOT FORGET WHY HE BECAME YOUR EX.
  5. Love up yourself. This may include pampering, dressing up and dating yourself, taking a vacation. While doing these things, ponder on this....Don't you deserve better? At times the relationship ends and it takes a while to get over, but when you do get over and in some cases find a better man, you asked yourself "What was I thinking?" A man who breaks your heart do not deserve you. 
  6. Do not surround yourself with persons who constantly bring him up in conversations and avoid all conversations about him unless they are geared towards helping you to move on. Hearing about how good he looks, who he is dating now, the good times you use to have will clearly not be helping you.
  7. SHOW HIM THAT YOU HAVE MOVED ON AND CLEARLY GET OVER HIM. Too often persons break up and still get excited when they are being called or approached by their exes. You making him feel like he is high and mighty will have him tagging you along for free sex. When you walk the street:
    • Dress good. You never know when you'll meet him up or if he'll see you. 
    • Walk with confidence. If he sees you even without you seeing him, he must see that you are a strong, confident and independent woman who have moved on. Hold your head high
    • Carry a happy face even when your heart is pounding. Smiles and laughter do wonders.
    • It is not necessary to pass him straight unless it works best for you. If you should pass him, say hi, but not like if you had a past, but rather like if their is a present and a future that only sees him like your ordinary friend who never touched you. Do NOT stop for a conversation. He would only be trying to feel you out and if you are just practising these methods to get over him, he'll catch you, especially if you are one that easily blush when he compliments you. 
Good Luck :)

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