Thursday 19 July 2012

7 Ways of Overcoming the soft spot for your Ex

http://www.accesshollywood.com/break-ups
People break up in many different ways and rarely does the two partners come together and say this is not working for these reasons, let us just try to be friends. Often break ups are ended by one person and leave the other person feeling hurt, although at times the same person who ends the relationship can also be the same one being hurt (Example, breaking off a relationship with a cheater). In extreme cases, persons have committed suicide because of the ending of their relationship. 

While some persons move on with their lives without looking back after a break up, there are some who remain single and are fearful of getting into another relationship and others who have moved on but still are hang up on their ex. Many times you might hear about persons who have break-up several times in one relationship. While in some cases, this is due to a hasty decision, in lot of the cases it is because of the SOFT SPOT that we cannot get pass. How can you get over that soft spot for your ex?


  1. TREAT HIM LIKE AN EX. Do not maintain a friendship. The only conversation that you should have is Hi and byes. Don't ever tell yourself you can handle a friendship once you still have feelings for him.
  2. No social dating. So often you hear, lets have a drink, it's only a movie etc Any contact that goes beyond the single word hi/hello should be avoided
  3. Erase the telephone number from your phone and if possible your mind. Do no accept any calls from him and avoid calling him.
  4. Occupy yourself with positive actions and positive thinking. Try not to be idle as these provide spaces for a walk down memory lane that often relates to the GOOD TIMES. But if you should walk down memory lane, REMEMBER WHY HE BROKE YOUR HEART AND HOW HE DID IT. This ought to get you back on track. Remember also it might very well be you left him  and if that is the case ponder on those reasons. DO NOT FORGET WHY HE BECAME YOUR EX.
  5. Love up yourself. This may include pampering, dressing up and dating yourself, taking a vacation. While doing these things, ponder on this....Don't you deserve better? At times the relationship ends and it takes a while to get over, but when you do get over and in some cases find a better man, you asked yourself "What was I thinking?" A man who breaks your heart do not deserve you. 
  6. Do not surround yourself with persons who constantly bring him up in conversations and avoid all conversations about him unless they are geared towards helping you to move on. Hearing about how good he looks, who he is dating now, the good times you use to have will clearly not be helping you.
  7. SHOW HIM THAT YOU HAVE MOVED ON AND CLEARLY GET OVER HIM. Too often persons break up and still get excited when they are being called or approached by their exes. You making him feel like he is high and mighty will have him tagging you along for free sex. When you walk the street:
    • Dress good. You never know when you'll meet him up or if he'll see you. 
    • Walk with confidence. If he sees you even without you seeing him, he must see that you are a strong, confident and independent woman who have moved on. Hold your head high
    • Carry a happy face even when your heart is pounding. Smiles and laughter do wonders.
    • It is not necessary to pass him straight unless it works best for you. If you should pass him, say hi, but not like if you had a past, but rather like if their is a present and a future that only sees him like your ordinary friend who never touched you. Do NOT stop for a conversation. He would only be trying to feel you out and if you are just practising these methods to get over him, he'll catch you, especially if you are one that easily blush when he compliments you. 
Good Luck :)


Remember to like us on the "Find us on Facebook" icon.

7 comments:

  1. WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS? WE FALL PREY TO THE SAME THINGS, NO ADVICE JASSY?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dane lol I know the men would accused me of biasness, that is why when I shared it on my timeline I said just changed the him to a her...It is hard to write him/her throughout. Even though it appears bias it can work for both parties. Still a tip for the man dem...Make sure the woman you choose after the break u[ look better than the one who left you and love up yourself, let she see what she lost. lol

      Delete
  2. very nice blog..........I did quite well for myself by using some of these same techniques a few years ago, and it worked..Now, whenever any one say to me: "have u seen your ex lately?" I'll go: "Ex who??" lol...He's dead to me now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Arlette and I am glad you say the techniques work so that others can try them out and don't let their Exes control them. They should be able to say like you, Ex who? lol

      Delete
  3. A break-up does not have to be bitter. Two persons can decide that they want to part company. I don't agree with having no contact, remember that sometimes there may be children that are the result of some of these failed relationships. I also walk down memory lane sometimes the good and the bad streets. I have learnt some great lessons from failed relationships and I am even able to share these thins with my spouse. I agree that some with some relationships especially if there was abuse involved,it would be prudent to stay farrrr away from that individual but just becasue some one ''breaks your heart'' does not automatically make them public and private enemy numero uno . Remembering of course that as Christians one has to learn to forgive others even in failed relationships.Your ex is human too and forgiveness is for them as well. This i am over you thing is pride talking. I agree that social dating should not take place but whats wrong with a phone call? My exes have access to me for certain favaours related to business that I gladly afford them. The relationship is over the dating is of course but life as I know it as a Child of ~God continues in earnest

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I speak to all my Ex, but it is important to note the topic and context of the factors given. It is how to overcome the SOFT SPOT for your EX and it speaks directly to people who are having difficulty moving on even when they think they do by entering other relationships. So the article is in no way suggesting not to forgive or even keep a friendship, but rather is saying in the even that you are having trouble moving on there are some things you would have to do. A phone call and social dating may only make things worse for a person who is trying to move on. She/he who is still in love might just get hurt even more if the person who ended it is really not nice. Remember the article stated at the beginning that rarely does two persons come together and say things not working out. Most of the times it is a bitter break up and there is one person who is extremely hurt and still finding hard to move on. How can that person let go with a one phone call that might turn to 10 and a yearning to hear the his/her voice, a social date that makes you remember the good times and hope that things may go back? It is my belief that even though you forgive, you cut all ties until you are able to stand on your two feet, then you can walk and maybe hold a conversation because your heart is now mended and can handle the seeing and talking.

      Delete
    2. Great come back Jazzy......sometimes it is really important to one's sanity to make a clean break from the ex....remember each individual has to know what they were going through during the relationship.....

      Delete