Friday, 23 November 2012

Minding your own business

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There is a tendency for some persons to become so involve in other persons business and lives that their own are left exposed with no one to tend to it. Be aware of persons with whom every conversation you have, is about other person's business. Ironically, many of these very individuals speak as if their lives are perfect, so much so that they have time to fix other persons lives. Often though, there are many skeletons in their closet and cowebs spreading across their barnyards because they have taken absolutely no time to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND FIX UP THEIR LIVES. Sad....

I am often mindful of people who talk so much about other people, yet so little about themselves. At the end of the day, you know who lives where, who sleeping with whom, who are they hypocrites in whatever church, who pregnant and the list goes on, but you do not know who they sleep with, if they are hypocrites etc. Of course again, when they speak, it appears as if they are walking the straight and absolute narrow and have never once fall on the wayside. 

I'll say to those people if you take sometime to look into your own lives, the past, the present and future you will notice many things:

  • You have lots to do. If not ensuring the mistakes of the past are not repeated, you can be enjoying your present or planning your future. With so much to do, where would you find time for other people's affairs.
  • You are wasting time. So often people criticize and gossip others without ever once pointing out to the individual of whom they speak about, what they can change and how it can benefit them. It seems like in this world, everyone can see the wrong but cannot point to the right. The devil still finds work for idlers
  • You are unhappy and unhealthy. Gossip is often driven by envy and covetousness. Before you know it you have ulcers and all kind of stomach and abdomen pain all stemming from your jealousy. Experience a happy and healthy lifestyle by looking in to your own business and desisting from minding other persons' business.
  • You have few true friends, if any. As much as it might appear that you have a lot of friends with whom you converse with daily, when 'push come to shove', these very same people will take you to the galos and hang you. As a gossiper, who can you trust and who will trust you? Often people think, if you can talk other persons business so much, I can only imagine when you sit down to talk about me, even though they will never say that to you.
Minding other persons's business can become very addictive. Imagine how better your life will be if all that energy is channel into minding your own business. 

Wednesday, 14 November 2012


As a female I probably should write about the need for female empowerment. I have read so much on women's victimization in the home and workplace, many of which are written by females, but in spite of that, they are true. Over the years, however, I have noticed that it has moved into a type of battle as if as ladies we intend to take over the world. I have no problem with ambitious women and women leaders whether it is in the political, economical or even spiritual field and I do believe in equality. However, lately I have become worried about our men.

Females, not only isn't there enough men to meet our female population, they also seem to be fading into the background of modern society. I admire strong, ambitious men who can assert a certain type of positive authority that many of us women have grown to admire. There is a sense of security that we tend to get with men. Just imagine walking with a male versus a female in a lonely park. No matter how small built or even fat that man maybe, there is this sense of security. This is because when we look at men, we view both physical and mental strength. However, today I asked, what is happening to our men?

In our universities, the ratio of female to male is tremendous. Our prisons are witnessing an increase in young men who have gotten themselves messed up in drugs, burglary or even murder. Males are absent from our homes and many females are now running the homes, not because they want to but because they do not have a choice. Even when they are present in the homes, their voice is unheard so that the responsibilities that they should carry out especially with our male children are affected. I truly believe that there is a difference when a father exercises authority over their children compared to mothers. I reflect on my own childhood that even though I respected both my parents, when my father got upset, I was more nervous and fearful than with my mom who seems to be always talking and warning. I look at the number of homosexuals, the ones who in school or within their homes, who have become involve in homosexuality either because they were abused by some relative or because they are greedy for fast riches and I see the need for male empowerment. It might be legal in some countries and their might be a widen acceptance of it from human rights activist, but while some groups seem to moving towards acceptance, I asked what is happening to our men? Remember the argument on nature versus nurture... if evidence points to nurture, then our males need help.

It upsets me much when I see a lady talk down to a man, who is simply trying to be nice or just trying. It does not matter to me whether he is your spouse, your employee, brother or friend. Do not bruised the ego of a man because you feel you have arrive at some false destination. Sometimes it scares me when power get into the hands of some women for the same thing we talked out against when we were the underdog, is repeating its ugly face now its the other way around. Men are getting lost in the wilderness. In our fight for women empowerment and within our researches that uses the word gender as if it is synonymous with females so that you know from the beginning you are going to read about women, let us not be blinded by what is happening with our men. I therefore call for MALE EMPOWERMENT, ALONGSIDE FEMALE EMPOWERMENT! 

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

My Marriage proposal

No matter how much you talked about getting married, I believe any lady looks forward to their wedding proposal. You do not simply want to be with a guy for however long, sit with him talking about whether it is time to get married and then before you know it you are planning for a wedding without a real proposal. Anytime, I look at wedding photos, I wonder what was the proposal like? Were you aware, unaware, was it romantic or dull, where was it, what did he do, how you feel? I also enjoy watching videos on romantic. Well today, I am going to tell you about my marriage proposal and I hope that those of you who are married or engage, will be willing to comment on your proposal.

My husband and I visit jewelry stores often. These are often  times when we are shopping for gifts for each other and it started before we got married. Other times, we did it for the fun of seeing what's new. Sometimes we looked at engagement and wedding rings having talked about marriage before, simply wanting to know each other's preference. I remember clearly the ring I fell in love with one day we went shopping. It was just an engagement ring without a wedding band, but very unique compare to other others. I tried it and I loved it. As a woman, my intuition wondered if something was up. My birthday was pretty close and I wondered, was he going to propose? Still, I didn't want to dwell on it because I didn't want to go on my date for my birthday expecting something that was far from his mind. Imagine how disappointing that can be.

Anyways, my birthday came and that evening I dressed not knowing where I was going. I was driven to Knutsford Courts Hotel  for dinner :) Nothing beats these special moments and I believe all women looks forward to being pampered and taken care of and just feeling special; on our birthdays, anniversary, valentines, Christmas and even ordinary days. He had my gift in a gift bag; I thought with a gift bag that size what can it be.  We order champagne and our three course and of course I could have ordered anything on the menu, I chose however not to burst his pocket :) Afterall I wanted more dates lol. Then came the time to open my gift. Always an excited time, opening gifts, not knowing what you have gotten this time, but can't wait to see, I took it and started to pull out the material that was inside. I later realise that the bag was big the stuffing was a lot, but the gift was small. There, at the bottom of the bag was a somewhat square box, maybe a watch or a chain I thought as I have jumped little hints that I wanted jewelry. He looked at me intensely as I opened it. I smiled as I gaze upon my gold chain. I was quite contented with my gift and so I attempted to take it out for a closer look and maybe even wear it for the evening when I realise that beneath the cotton in the box was something else that did not come out with the chain. It wasn't a pendant because clearly it would be on the chain. I sort to raise the cotton to look beneath and in doing so, I watched my husband got down on one knee and I listened to him said these words to me:
" You came to Jamaica and stole my heart and now I am giving you the rest of me with it. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" And guess what I said...

I still cannot express how I feel then. I remember blushing from that instant all throughout the night, wondering if, in spite of our cozy corner, others within the restaurant had seen. I remember thinking I love him. Today, I still feel the same for him as I did the day I knew he would make me happy and there is no regret.

Thursday, 8 November 2012


 Can you recall all the persons who looked down on you throughout your life because you could not dress like them, wear the right clothes, speak the right way? The people who made you feel ugly because your eyes were too big, your teeth were not properly shaped, you were too black...Can you remember the guys who bypass you for what they thought was 'pretty'? Don't you wish you can look at them and say look at me now!!! 

I think the stage in your life you feel this most is as a teenager. You get attracted to persons at that stage mainly on looks and if you do not fill the criteria, then you are left out.  Nothing is wrong with having preferences, but there are some (both girls and guys) who have to make you feel that you are not in the category and so they say thinks that eventually shatter your self esteem. But then you grow up, you are educated, have a good job and can now afford to buy the right clothes. Your self confidence and self esteem is now built.  You look around and what do you see:

  • Some 'scrawny' men, some of them lips black from smoking and skin shine from consuming too much alcohol and you wonder it can't be. Couldn't be the same sexy guys you infatuated about as a teenager? They come up to you as if they think they still have it going on and  like between then and now, your body grew but your mind remained the same, expecting to have the same effect...Ha! Look at me now!!!
  • You look at some of the girls that seemingly had it going on. Some well mash up and look twice your age, burden with children they cannot care for, uneducated because they skull classes to meet and sex with man. You wish you can say to them...Look at me now!! for the many times they throw word and call you names, but all you feel is sympathy. Others, are educated and in good jobs, but have many regrets, their mind still have not grown as they continue to hang on to their 'piece' of man who lacks ambition and fail to see the world is changing. Count your blessings, look in the mirror, smile and tell yourself, look at me now.
Be careful the decisions you make in your early life, the friends you keep, the people you speak. For those of you who are poor, think you are ugly because you have heard it so many times, closed your ears to the negative world, focus on achieving what you can now. Look in the mirror and see your beauty through your own eyes. Poverty can be only for a period if you want it to. One day you will be able to afford it all and your very essence will shout at the world LOOK AT ME NOW!!!

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Democrat versus Republican: Obama wins again

Let me first say congratulations to President Obama who has done it again. When I look at my facebook page, there are a lot of happy fans all AROUND THE WORLD. I even found myself getting a bit nervous last night with my eyes glued to the television set. I am not a big fan of political affairs but I am a keen observer and so today I would like to share those very observations.

First of all, it was the amount of Caribbean people who were involved in American politics, some even more than they are involved in their own home country politics. Was it wrong? Well I look at different persons views on facebook, some of whom couldn't see the big deal. Is it a big deal? I believe it is. In this global world or village, as we sometimes call it, the United Stated of America play a very integral role in the economy of Caribbean people and many other nations around the world. In other words, when there is a recession in the U.S.A economy, we feel it right at home. Additionally, the U.S.A is a haven for many Caribbean people. If we look at our migration rates, we will see that in terms of international migration, many Caribbean persons migrate to the U.S in search of greener pastures. Sometimes they get it, sometimes they don't, but whatever the case we know that who is in charge of America is not only making decisions for Americans, but also us Caribbean people. If many of our illegal residents are sent back home, who will send the remittances? 

My second observation has to do with politics on a whole. As I listened to CNN and other news station project the election results for different parts of the state, this is what stood out for me. Based on past elections, there were states that favour democrats and those that favour republicans and apparently were like this for years. I remember my own island with persons being able to tell which constituency is already won by ULP or NDP and right here in Jamaica, it repeats. Now I really do not think, and it is my humble opinion, that anyone should claimed to be a democrat or a republican, a labour man or a PNP man or a NDP man. At any election, we should approach it with an open mind so that you can be a democrat today and a republican the next day. It should be about the issues and who is best able to deal with them. Election should be so unpredictable that it keeps politicians on their toes knowing that the real power rest in the hands of the people. No man should say I am a democrat or republican until the day I die because my parents were this and my parents' parents were. I hear a statement in my own little island one election, "the ship is sinking and I am going down with it." I figure if a ship is sinking obviously something is wrong with it and if their is a rescue boat that is better, why not jump on it. 

My main advice therefore to us is no matter what country, island or state you are in, when election comes, let politicians understand clearly where the power lies. I applaud those states that were once dubbed republicans but last night it was won by democrats. No one knows what next year holds :) And I applaud Florida, it was a close fight and it tells us that there are people there who are very much concern about issues and not simply the nature of being a democrat or republican.

Congrats again to President Obama and I wish you all the best in the  4 years. Remember us Caribbean people as we fight for our visas and our resident status :)