Tuesday, 21 August 2012

I need Space. What does it mean?

I have been in a relationship where the whole talk of space came up. I do not understand much of what it means and here is where you come in. When a person ask for space, does it mean that for a period of time you are no longer together, free to do whatever you want while evaluating your relationship, or does it mean that you are still together but would not be seeing each other for a period of time, and instead be using that time period to evaluate your relationship and see if it is worthy? In the second scenario, all the rules of the relationship are maintained.

I do not really believe in space, but I understand it can help persons to sort out themselves, their relationship and the way forward when genuine. The funny thing though is that in my experience, space is most times used when a person wants to get out of a relationship without bluntly getting out and hurting the other person involve. It is like a soft let down, where you use the time to phase somebody out of your life. Many times when space is requested, the relationship has already gone through a battle and someone is clearly fed up or bored, or one party has seen someone else they like and possibly already start talking to and they don't want to say to their spouse, 'hey, found someone else,  I am fed up of my boring life with you, I am moving on.' Yea,but how can they say that when they have already met each other's family, been together for awhile, intertwine in a network of relationships of persons known to both spouses whose voices screamed...when is the wedding? They do not know that your relationship lacks zest  and the only thing keeping you together is their voices, their friendship and not wanting to disappoint, so you ask for space.It is easier.

Well that is just my experience, what is your understanding of space, is it necessary, based on what you know or experience, is it genuine? Looking forward to your comments. 

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