Saturday 13 October 2012

SCHEDULED SEX AND MARRIED LIFE

How many persons look forward to the amount of sex you will have when you get married? For those who are currently married, are you living up to the standard you set? 

Sex is not a topic that people love to talk about openly. In fact, most prefer to suffer in unsatisfied silence than to get it out there and understandably so. Well, as most persons prefer to read and get their answers that ask questions, I see this article as warranted.

Some time ago, I had a conversation with a very good friend who believe that when she gets married, her sex life will be super active, given the waiting period she was under. It is a popular thought among women who are virgins and especially Christian women who are not fornicating. Somehow there is a great expectation and it is felt that you would never complain about lack of sex or unfulfilled sexual needs. You will hear about who would be sleeping in lingerie every night, the many positions or 'non-bed' sex that will be included etc...:) For those who got married, are you still doing it and if not, how long after you got married you stop? 

Quite recently, I realised that at times you can get so busy that you have to schedule sex. What do I mean? Well, it means that you and your spouse have to put a day or night on the calendar that is strictly for you and even though you can do whatever you please with it, sex is always a big part, given that the week before was busy and inactive sexually. Scheduled sex is similar to the sex that persons who are trying to get pregnant have as they have to gauge the period in which they body is ovulating. Is it always great or is it boring?

I think that will depend on the frequency with which schedule sex happens. I would advice to minimize it as much as possible. It can be exciting as one plans ahead, what they will wear, a few text messages during the day to get the mind in corrective mode and the blood pumping :), the massages, red wines, flowers etc etc, but doing this over and over and over again will feel just like how you felt when you read that line. I don't think anything beats spontaneous sex, that is, unplanned, unorganised sex that can take place in a bed, on the floor, in a couch or where ever else it meets you. Still, there are times our  lives will get busy, super busy and we cannot pretend that it hasn't. Still you cannot allow it to affect your intimacy and so you have to schedule your time together. My advice, don't let schedule sex take over your sex life, but whenever it must happen, be very creative. Furthermore, from time to time, knock yourself out with some spontaneity. Of course, you are going to sleep after given your tiredness, but it will be worth it.


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2 comments:

  1. let them dream on . for active working people with kifs thrice a month is plenty these days lol

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    1. lol What can we say, they will soon find out lol

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