Tuesday 30 October 2012

Keep Christ in your marriage and reduce divorce

It always baffled me why divorce is so high among Christian couples. When I got married, I found myself being super vigilant, looking for signs of things that might eventually build up and become so sour that we seek divorce. I make it a habit to express myself fully when I am happy or unhappy so that my husband would not have to read my mind. Mind you, there are times when I get so upset that I do not want to talk, but after a while I know I have to if I want to see changes and so I do. So why is divorce is so high among Christian couples? I think it is because we downplay and in many cases remove Jesus, the foundation on which our relationship is built. It can be one individual or both persons within the relationship who remove God, but whatever the case I can see where God can become absent and how it can eventually affect our relationship.

I love my husband and care deeply about him and I would like to believe that the feelings I had the day we started chatting, to our first kiss and eventually our marriage will last forever. Do we get upset with each other? Of course. There are some little things that can nag at you and as little as they are, if you are not vigilant, it can result in big argument. Simple things as to where you leave your shoe, the clothes you take off etc You see I think what we fail to realise as Christian couples is that we are ordinary humans, who have made a decision to come together and occupy one space. We may have things in common, but we still have different personality, which may clash from time to time. It doesn't matter how in love we are, a relationship Christian or non-Christian requires work.

What I think should be different for Christians is that we should be following the word of God and applying it  to our marriages. When you get angry, which often might happen, do not sin...Angry and Sin not. Denying self is important whether you are Christian or not, but where is this constantly taught? Is it not within the church, a call make to all believers? Well self is not only denied when it comes to the things of God, but is also important within relationship. So he is dead wrong and thinks he is right, but there is a need to make him pay? Well that desire is normal as a human but as a Christian, should you let it determine your next course of action? So often we do, we forget who we are in Christ. We get tired of him doing the same thing over and over and the devil find a way to play on our sinful nature until we find ourselves, no longer caring, but revengeful. Why shouldn't he put in the same effort too? Isn't he a Christian also? MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK!!! If we find ourselves concentrating on what the other partner should do, we might become so stress and then eventually lose our marriages. 

 I believe that if both partners are  Christian and commit themselves to doing his will then when problems and issues arise in the relationship, they will act accordingly. Argument would not be allowed to get so bad that curse words become involve. Do not think you are a super human because you call yourself Christian either. There would be things that you need to take to a counselor and seek help because you have tried, you have prayed, but one partner is just not changing or even understanding how it is affecting you. Before you allow yourself to become so bitter that your love turns to hate, seek help because as a Christian you are thought faith without works is dead and also to use wisdom in your actions. 

Christians, let us be wise in our relationship.  No one wants to marry the love of their life to divorce anytime after, whether short or long.

2 comments:

  1. Dating after divorce with children can be challenging. An estimated 40% of marriages through 2008 resulted in a divorce. Eight years is the average duration of a first marriage. Wives in families with children filed for divorce in sixty six percent of the cases according to 1975 to 1988 reports by the National Center for Health Statistics.

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    1. Thanks for your comment. It is greatly appreciated. Hope many persons look at these statistics and know that marriage is a serious business and so is divorce. Thanks again.

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