Knowing yourself before knowing a man: Man Pleasers vs Man Naggers

A lot of relationships fail today for many reasons, but I believe one is because of identity crisis. Examine  what the argument is about some of the times. Half the times we do not know who we are and therefore cannot tell what we want. We enter the relationship wanting what we see in another relationship or even what we see on T.V. That is the reason why sometimes we keep involving other people in a conversation that is suppose to be between you and your spouse.

Have you ever looked back on previous relationships and asked what were you thinking or state how you would have done things differently? I have. It was not about the attraction or how we feel about each other, but simply not knowing who we are. So sometimes we become 'man pleasers' or 'man naggers'; two serious dangers. 'Man Pleasers' are those women who cannot stand on their own two feet so much so that they look to the man for everything and put up with everything. They are usually the ones who are abused and cheated on, but they still see themselves as lucky to have the man or accept the abuse and unfaithfulness as normal.  "If he doesn't beat me, he doesn't love me." They develop their identity as time goes on through what the man says and would have them be. They cannot think for themselves or make themselves happy and they always have to be in a relationship. They do things not because they want to or feel it is right, but because they think the other person is happy or pleased by it. A lot of times these things are negative and include doing drugs, smoking, getting drunk, sexing with their spouse friends etc

 'Man Naggers' on the other hand, are constantly affected by people's talks and relationships and sometimes even fictional media activities. They come into the relationship with a romanticize version of what a relationship should be like, ready to act the part they should play. In doing so, the real you is removed to make place for the one that fits the relationship of your dreams. However, the man, who is often left out of what you feel should be, is constantly nag to do things this way and that way, to change this or to change that. Didn't you know who he is before entering the relationship? They at times appear as babies in the relationship constantly in need of pampering and eventually their voice becomes like a mosquito buzzing in the ears of their spouse...baby do this, baby do that, where were you last night, where are you going to night, am I fat, am I slim...over and over again.