How to please your wives?

It is generally felt that  men cannot understand women. It is argued that we are complex, we drop hints instead of just saying what is on our minds and that we have terrible mood swings. All these I believe are quite true because I have met and spoken to women who, even I find hard to understand. I however wish to address the things that men can do to please us.

There are some men out there who are complicated by their own laziness. They do not even try or want to so that even if we plaster what we want on our faces, they will still ignore it because they lack the desire to please. The saddest part of any marriage is when one partner is working very hard for the betterment of their marriage and the other one is just laid back and believe that bringing in the money is enough. Some of the upsetting statements they can make during this time are, 'You should be happy', 'Some women/men well want what you have'. Truly, there are women/men out there who always desire what you have without really taking the time out to examine it. All that glitters is not gold.

So men, if you want to please us and have a happy marriage, here are just a few pointers on the things that makes us happy:

• Help with the kids- No one can truly understand how burdensome raising children is until you have. It has nothing to do with the love for your kids. In fact, you love them to death, but it is not easy. Raising a child is a two parent job so when all the responsibility falls on only one parent,  that parent may become highly frustrated if they cannot find time for themselves. I only have one child whom I love dearly and after I left work tired, I still have to give her mommy time and I am super grateful to my good husband who helps out tremendously. There are times when she only wants me and I have things to do or I just need a little breather. Do you know where I escape to? The bathroom, and I have to lock the door, but even there, I cannot escape because she will find me and knocked the door while shouting mommy until I open it. Again, I only have one child. Yet, my date life is practical nil because family is not close and money not 'tun up' to allow me to hire a baby sitter in the night when I am already paying for one in the day. So again, men you need to recognize this and help out.
• Dates and surprises do not end with marriage- It is very hard if, during courting, you use to go out pretty often or often enough to feel satisfy, but then you get married and it cuts down a little, then there and kids and everything ends to the point that sometimes even your anniversary is forgotten. There are some men who becomes so caught up in career and education that they forget they have a wife at home and they seemingly believe that their wife should only find happiness in the lovely home that they have provided with the lovely kids that they have given. They no longer take you out nor do they attempt to plan a little surprise. Instead, they work long hours, come home expecting food and sex and think that all is well. Wake up! Time to spice up the marriage.
• Help out with the domestic chores. Now some men believe that the wife's role is in the home. Maybe this was so in traditional times, but time has changed. The little pocket money some jobs give as salary cannot pay bills and take care of the home, so it needs pocket money from two persons to run things. In other words, both the husband and wife are working and so when you come home tired, do not assume that your wife has done less work at her job and so can take on another. Pull your weight. If I am cooking, maybe you can help prepared the juice or the vegetables or bathe the kids. Why should a woman finish cooking, share the dinner for you and still have to get the kids ready for bed? In addition to this, you know how hard wrenching it is for a woman to be at work all day return to her home and the husband who was home all day, did not pick up a broom or put on a pot. Now we ladies know that if we have a day off, we are not only cooking, but cleaning and washing on top of that. Sometimes, there is not even any time to sit down and watch a movie, because we just cannot sit in a dirty home, but a man can be home all day and all he needs is a remote, sports channels and some dry food. Another little thing I appreciate about my husband, is if he is home, even if he does not cook, he might have folded the clothes and clean the house and he does cook at times. It is those little things that please us. 
• Compliment us and say little words of appreciation from time to time- We are not asking you to habitually say I love you so much so that it comes like a ritual, but from time to time say something positive. Sometimes, you may look at a man and he appears to be aging like fine wine, while we are struggling with body images especially after giving birth. Fat might be poking out from places that were once slender and smooth. This by itself might not be such a big deal, but when coupled with not going out, working in a job and at home, having a husband who is hardly home and seem not to appreciate all you do, then that is grievous.
• Listen and Act- I leave this one for last because I know there are many wives who are very strong willed and super argumentative and do not listen, but we have men who also do not listen. They may act as if you have nothing of worth to say and may even use the fact that you are strong willed as their defense. I always say to people that my husband has the final say, but I also appreciate the fact that the final say at times end with him agreeing with me because he listens to reason. He does not make any decision without including me. We will discuss and at the end, he makes a  reasonable decision. When a man does not listen and his wife has no input in any decision, it is as if you do not have any worth beyond a certain point.

Let me end by saying, there is a difference between contentment and happiness even though they are times used synonymously. I however see contentment as being satisfied and believe that you can be satisfied with your life, maybe because you have wonderful children, a nice home and your bills are paid, but unhappy because you are still lonely within your marriage, you feel as if you are just going through the motions and you think you have missed out or are missing out on the finer things in life. Notwithstanding, there are times when the husband has nothing to do with how a wife may feel and cannot stop them if they want a divorce. However, husbands where you can do more, do it. A simple question that you can ask yourself, as corny as it is, what if the shoes were on the other feet, how would I feel? In other words, put yourself in your wife's shoes.