Friday 30 August 2013

Yo can't change man!!!

Yesterday morning, I was washing some dishes when I over heard a very interesting conversation between my neighbours (two young men) and I wasn't eavesdropping....they couldn't care less who heard. What so interested about it? One of the young man in response to his friend's issue said that women always think they can change man, but they can't, to which the young man agree. The story:

He usually tell his ladies friends upfront that he is not the married type. So he was speaking to a girl, that he is interested in, about having a previous relationship with another woman, while cheating on that lady...According to him, the current girl didn't say anything  and he felt that means she is ok with his lifestyle because he was simply giving her a piece of his character (though his sister said he needs to change, but he is just not ready).  Now the present girl is now having issues with him (she went in a relationship with in spite of what she heard) and she knew from beginning how he stayed...To which is friend responded..."women always feel they can change man." Now isn't that interesting coming from the horse's mouth.

I reflected on my own dating life growing up and yes, they are right. Sometimes, we think that we can change man. The Christian who dates the unsaved, but figured some where down the line he will change because she can influence him and before you know it, you are the one changing (I have had my own experience with that). I have left relationships (there is one in particular because I was so in love), not because I did not love and really want to be with this guy, but because I realize I could not change him and he would not change for me and even though after the break up, time and other relationships passed between us, when we met it was obvious that we were still both attracted to each other, but I knew in my heart, it makes so sense to go back to him because he still has not changed and I could not live with him as he was. Was he such a bad guy, no...in spite of the fact that he never remembers my birthday, hardly wanted to go out, I would have settled, but he was not a Christian, which for me is a big deal (maybe only other Christians will understand this).

Aren't there women out there who are in some sick, sad relationships, but hang on not only because of love but because of a blind hope that the man will change? In spite of what has happened between him and his ex, it must have have been something the ex did that cause him to butt/bun/horn/cheat on her, but with me he will be so different because I will just cheat him right, that is what we tell ourselves.....WAKE UP LADIES! 

There are some men out there, married and unmarried who cheat on their women because of their nature...the women are doing there very best and they have no reason and need no reason. You cannot change man. Only the man himself with the help of God can change. So if you are in a relationship.  my advice to you is to either accept your cheating man for who he is or move on. Do not stay in the relationship looking to change him if you know you found him and accept him like that from the beginning, you would only stress yourself. 

2 comments:

  1. what do Canadian women have that Jamaican men want instead of Jamaican women. A man has admitted to us this but will not give us the answer.

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    Replies
    1. The question for you is whether that man is telling the truth. I am also not a Jamaican, though not a Canadian and I am married to a Jamaican, but I have learnt a few things being a foreigner who was approached by several Jamaican men. There are times when a man will say anything to get into your pants or if you have money or they feel you can offer them a better life (maybe even a way out of Jamaica). Some will go as far as pulling down their home ladies, but never in front their face, only to the foreigner they want to impress. For that reason, it is left up to you to determine if what they are saying is just to impress you or has any merit. I will say this though not all Jamaican women are the same, neither are all Jamaican men the same, so what can they possibly say that any foreigner (Canadian or otherwise) have that puts them above Jamaican women...obviously his experience can only be with a few and who knows the type of women he goes after

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