JAMAICAN WOMEN: STYLE AND FASHION

Source: http://www.jayblessed.com/tag/skin-bleaching/

If you ever visit Jamaica, you might be amazed and admire or be disgusted and intolerant of some Jamaican women. Certainly, if you are from a culture like mines, you will be culture shocked. You might be wondering what can be so intriguing or possibly disgusting about said Jamaican women...

The first time I travelled to downtown Kingston, I could not believe my eyes. I know it is not good to stare but could I help myself? From the technicolor wig and weave, to the long glued on eye lashes and constantly fading complexion to the long, bending fingernails and at times toe nails. This was topped of with short pants or leggings and fashionable  tops. They lined a particular street doing nails or hair, right there on the street. Was I amazed and mortified at the same time! What would possess a person to bleach themselves to redness so that their skin, especially on their cheeks is bruised? And what mothers would wear something so short so that their cellulite legs bounce from side to side and their 'bang belly' hang over their pants or shorts?  Yes, my initial reaction was filled with disgust.

Well I have spent over 5 years here and this is what I now see. A unique people with a unique culture. I might not agree with it or even like it, but I must respect it. Looking good is the order of the day. When you hear, 'gel yo sell off',' you know that person have done justice in the eyes of her beholder. They walk the streets and stores looking for their look good pants and look good tops. The music and lifestyle of the island supports the 'sell off' mentality. What may disgust me or you, is a unique culture of the ghetto people. Sure some might have gone too far and are cause for concern for health officials, especially with skin cancer, however, I see strong, brave independent women who have established their own identities by living outside the box of what may be deemed 'normal'. Whether they are fat or slim, black or brown or red, old or young,  these women have created an identity for themselves and remain with it in spite of all that is said. Unless we understand who they are and where they are from, we would only be judging from the standards of the norm our society has set for us and if we intend to help, we would get no where. 

Regardless of who a Jamaica is or where she is from, they take pride in their physical beauty. The only difference is while some have remained within the societal norms of what looks good, others have break free and have created their own. If you want to help those who have gone too far, try and understand them first, where are they from and why have they taken on this form of identity.

BLACKBERRY GODS

Source:http://www.pocket-lint.com

A major percentage of individuals, young and old, rich and poor, own a blackberry or some other smart phone. Texting, games, calls and browsing are some of the major uses of these SMART PHONES. Is there anything wrong with owning one? Absolutely not!!! They may even be regarded as an asset rather than a luxury BUT some have taken them to the ranking of GODS in our lives. Are you addicted to your smart phone? Seek Rehabilitation.

I am tired of seeing people texting on their smart phones during church. Why do you need to take your phone to church? Is it the Holy Spirit? And don't tell me it has on your bible! Through the week, you don't read it, but all of a sudden on your church day, you want to? I suggest you go back to the old- fashion method of carrying  a bible to church. I am tired of seeing people texting and browsing during a church service. And my, when the phone rings in the midst of the sermon and shamefacedly, they fight to end the call, only to hear it ring again few seconds after. Really! Couldn't you have put it on silence or vibrate?

I know we all attend church for different reasons, but the fact that your left your home for church, have some respect for God and his temple. Maybe, there is a particular day that you need to take your phone because you are expecting an important call...PUT IT ON SILENCE, the rest of the congregation do not need to be interrupted by your call. This is so sad also when you notice is Christians texting and smiling and responding. BREAK PEOPLE OFF THE HABIT OF TEXTING YOU DURING CHURCH.

Now to the workplace, especially in the public service. My goodness!!! Have you ever walked into a business place and the receptionist is their texting and smiling and must complete it before she asked you (with a frown on her face like you are disturbing her) may I help? No wonder in some parts of the private sector they banned the use of your personal cell phones during work hours. How can yo be efficient and productive during the day if you are wasting working hours for your personal entertainment? Surely you are not concern about the mission of the business but simply getting through the month for a salary.

I believe that these phones can become or are already gods in a lot of lives. WATCH OUT!!!

Who to love me?

Whenever someone has an addiction and seek rehabilitation  one of the things that they have to come to grip with is a simple statement...I am an addict and I need help. It is all about moving beyond self denial. I have seen a lot of denial and pretense when it comes to love.

You are single seeking a relationship, but somehow things not going as you plan. Maybe you are no longer as in your 20s; you spent a lot of time concentrating on school and a career and now that you want to complete your circle with a husband/wife and kids, you realise you are still single. 

Maybe you are younger, but somehow the guys you like never give you the time of day, no one approach you. What to do?

Do not deny yourself love by making this statement, "I do not want no man." Pretending that you are happy with your solitude does not fulfil the vacuum within your heart, the emptiness you feel when you see a happy couple or hear about a loving relationship. Do not suffer under pretense. Wanting someone to love you is not a bad thing, but depression can arise from pretending you don't.

What should you do in the mean time?

•  Enjoy dating and outings even if it is with your girlfriends. 
• Treat yourself, eat healthy and look attractive. Do not look unavailable when you know you are available and yes...there are some men who do not approach some ladies because they look taken. Remember a confident  lady can be intimidating to a man who might be mustering up the strength to ask you out. Try to balance confidence with vulnerability...show yourself as a strong, confident woman who can allow a man to lead. 
• Widen your horizon. Your spouse might not be in your church, your community or even your island. When you save, feel free to move around, travel and enjoy new scenery.

Who to love you? There is someone out there. 

Minding your own business

Image Source: http://pastorleoacosta.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/
loose-talk-can-cost-lives-gossip-the-church/

There is a tendency for some persons to become so involve in other persons business and lives that their own are left exposed with no one to tend to it. Be aware of persons with whom every conversation you have, is about other person's business. Ironically, many of these very individuals speak as if their lives are perfect, so much so that they have time to fix other persons lives. Often though, there are many skeletons in their closet and cowebs spreading across their barnyards because they have taken absolutely no time to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND FIX UP THEIR LIVES. Sad....

I am often mindful of people who talk so much about other people, yet so little about themselves. At the end of the day, you know who lives where, who sleeping with whom, who are they hypocrites in whatever church, who pregnant and the list goes on, but you do not know who they sleep with, if they are hypocrites etc. Of course again, when they speak, it appears as if they are walking the straight and absolute narrow and have never once fall on the wayside. 

I'll say to those people if you take sometime to look into your own lives, the past, the present and future you will notice many things:

• You have lots to do. If not ensuring the mistakes of the past are not repeated, you can be enjoying your present or planning your future. With so much to do, where would you find time for other people's affairs.
• You are wasting time. So often people criticize and gossip others without ever once pointing out to the individual of whom they speak about, what they can change and how it can benefit them. It seems like in this world, everyone can see the wrong but cannot point to the right. The devil still finds work for idlers
• You are unhappy and unhealthy. Gossip is often driven by envy and covetousness. Before you know it you have ulcers and all kind of stomach and abdomen pain all stemming from your jealousy. Experience a happy and healthy lifestyle by looking in to your own business and desisting from minding other persons' business.
• You have few true friends, if any. As much as it might appear that you have a lot of friends with whom you converse with daily, when 'push come to shove', these very same people will take you to the galos and hang you. As a gossiper, who can you trust and who will trust you? Often people think, if you can talk other persons business so much, I can only imagine when you sit down to talk about me, even though they will never say that to you.

Minding other persons's business can become very addictive. Imagine how better your life will be if all that energy is channel into minding your own business. 

A CALL FOR MALE EMPOWERMENT

Source: http://markturnquestconsulting.com/Training.html

As a female I probably should write about the need for female empowerment. I have read so much on women's victimization in the home and workplace, many of which are written by females, but in spite of that, they are true. Over the years, however, I have noticed that it has moved into a type of battle as if as ladies we intend to take over the world. I have no problem with ambitious women and women leaders whether it is in the political, economical or even spiritual field and I do believe in equality. However, lately I have become worried about our men.

Females, not only isn't there enough men to meet our female population, they also seem to be fading into the background of modern society. I admire strong, ambitious men who can assert a certain type of positive authority that many of us women have grown to admire. There is a sense of security that we tend to get with men. Just imagine walking with a male versus a female in a lonely park. No matter how small built or even fat that man maybe, there is this sense of security. This is because when we look at men, we view both physical and mental strength. However, today I asked, what is happening to our men?

In our universities, the ratio of female to male is tremendous. Our prisons are witnessing an increase in young men who have gotten themselves messed up in drugs, burglary or even murder. Males are absent from our homes and many females are now running the homes, not because they want to but because they do not have a choice. Even when they are present in the homes, their voice is unheard so that the responsibilities that they should carry out especially with our male children are affected. I truly believe that there is a difference when a father exercises authority over their children compared to mothers. I reflect on my own childhood that even though I respected both my parents, when my father got upset, I was more nervous and fearful than with my mom who seems to be always talking and warning. I look at the number of homosexuals, the ones who in school or within their homes, who have become involve in homosexuality either because they were abused by some relative or because they are greedy for fast riches and I see the need for male empowerment. It might be legal in some countries and their might be a widen acceptance of it from human rights activist, but while some groups seem to moving towards acceptance, I asked what is happening to our men? Remember the argument on nature versus nurture... if evidence points to nurture, then our males need help.

It upsets me much when I see a lady talk down to a man, who is simply trying to be nice or just trying. It does not matter to me whether he is your spouse, your employee, brother or friend. Do not bruised the ego of a man because you feel you have arrive at some false destination. Sometimes it scares me when power get into the hands of some women for the same thing we talked out against when we were the underdog, is repeating its ugly face now its the other way around. Men are getting lost in the wilderness. In our fight for women empowerment and within our researches that uses the word gender as if it is synonymous with females so that you know from the beginning you are going to read about women, let us not be blinded by what is happening with our men. I therefore call for MALE EMPOWERMENT, ALONGSIDE FEMALE EMPOWERMENT! 

My Marriage proposal

No matter how much you talked about getting married, I believe any lady looks forward to their wedding proposal. You do not simply want to be with a guy for however long, sit with him talking about whether it is time to get married and then before you know it you are planning for a wedding without a real proposal. Anytime, I look at wedding photos, I wonder what was the proposal like? Were you aware, unaware, was it romantic or dull, where was it, what did he do, how you feel? I also enjoy watching videos on proposals...so romantic. Well today, I am going to tell you about my marriage proposal and I hope that those of you who are married or engage, will be willing to comment on your proposal.

My husband and I visit jewelry stores often. These are often  times when we are shopping for gifts for each other and it started before we got married. Other times, we did it for the fun of seeing what's new. Sometimes we looked at engagement and wedding rings having talked about marriage before, simply wanting to know each other's preference. I remember clearly the ring I fell in love with one day we went shopping. It was just an engagement ring without a wedding band, but very unique compare to other others. I tried it and I loved it. As a woman, my intuition wondered if something was up. My birthday was pretty close and I wondered, was he going to propose? Still, I didn't want to dwell on it because I didn't want to go on my date for my birthday expecting something that was far from his mind. Imagine how disappointing that can be.

Anyways, my birthday came and that evening I dressed not knowing where I was going. I was driven to Knutsford Courts Hotel  for dinner :) Nothing beats these special moments and I believe all women looks forward to being pampered and taken care of and just feeling special; on our birthdays, anniversary, valentines, Christmas and even ordinary days. He had my gift in a gift bag; I thought with a gift bag that size what can it be.  We order champagne and our three course and of course I could have ordered anything on the menu, I chose however not to burst his pocket :) Afterall I wanted more dates lol. Then came the time to open my gift. Always an excited time, opening gifts, not knowing what you have gotten this time, but can't wait to see, I took it and started to pull out the material that was inside. I later realise that the bag was big the stuffing was a lot, but the gift was small. There, at the bottom of the bag was a somewhat square box, maybe a watch or a chain I thought as I have jumped little hints that I wanted jewelry. He looked at me intensely as I opened it. I smiled as I gaze upon my gold chain. I was quite contented with my gift and so I attempted to take it out for a closer look and maybe even wear it for the evening when I realise that beneath the cotton in the box was something else that did not come out with the chain. It wasn't a pendant because clearly it would be on the chain. I sort to raise the cotton to look beneath and in doing so, I watched my husband got down on one knee and I listened to him said these words to me:

" You came to Jamaica and stole my heart and now I am giving you the rest of me with it. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" And guess what I said...

I still cannot express how I feel then. I remember blushing from that instant all throughout the night, wondering if, in spite of our cozy corner, others within the restaurant had seen. I remember thinking I love him. Today, I still feel the same for him as I did the day I knew he would make me happy and there is no regret.

POOR AND UGLY BUT LOOK AT ME NOW!!!

Source: https://twitter.com/BeautyFrmAshes

 Can you recall all the persons who looked down on you throughout your life because you could not dress like them, wear the right clothes, speak the right way? The people who made you feel ugly because your eyes were too big, your teeth were not properly shaped, you were too black...Can you remember the guys who bypass you for what they thought was 'pretty'? Don't you wish you can look at them and say look at me now!!! 

I think the stage in your life you feel this most is as a teenager. You get attracted to persons at that stage mainly on looks and if you do not fill the criteria, then you are left out.  Nothing is wrong with having preferences, but there are some (both girls and guys) who have to make you feel that you are not in the category and so they say thinks that eventually shatter your self esteem. But then you grow up, you are educated, have a good job and can now afford to buy the right clothes. Your self confidence and self esteem is now built.  You look around and what do you see:

• Some 'scrawny' men, some of them lips black from smoking and skin shine from consuming too much alcohol and you wonder it can't be. Couldn't be the same sexy guys you infatuated about as a teenager? They come up to you as if they think they still have it going on and  like between then and now, your body grew but your mind remained the same, expecting to have the same effect...Ha! Look at me now!!!
• You look at some of the girls that seemingly had it going on. Some well mash up and look twice your age, burden with children they cannot care for, uneducated because they skull classes to meet and sex with man. You wish you can say to them...Look at me now!! for the many times they throw word and call you names, but all you feel is sympathy. Others, are educated and in good jobs, but have many regrets, their mind still have not grown as they continue to hang on to their 'piece' of man who lacks ambition and fail to see the world is changing. Count your blessings, look in the mirror, smile and tell yourself, look at me now.

Be careful the decisions you make in your early life, the friends you keep, the people you speak. For those of you who are poor, think you are ugly because you have heard it so many times, closed your ears to the negative world, focus on achieving what you can now. Look in the mirror and see your beauty through your own eyes. Poverty can be only for a period if you want it to. One day you will be able to afford it all and your very essence will shout at the world LOOK AT ME NOW!!!