How to please your man?

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I wrote recently on "How to please your wives?" and so it would be very remiss of me if I leave you the gentlemen. After all how husbands have needs to and in building a strong relationship, we must strike a balance. There are some relationships where one party is always giving and the other receiving. Eventually those will die. There are some females who believe that the purpose of the man is to give, give and give again to them and yet, at times, these very same woman and the ones who are selfish and quick to get upset or leave if ever he forgets a birthday or an anniversary. So ladies, if you want to keep your man happy, here are a few pointers. I had to solicit the help of my husband for this so this not purely from a woman's perspective.

• Respect him- Now this may seem not to be a big deal to many, but it is a huge deal for a man. As ladies, we demand respect, but respect for a man goes even deeper. If a man embarrasses a lady in front of her friends (not good), somehow the lady gets over it quicker and may even react differently than if it is the other way around. Do not speak down to him.I witnessed some women publicly embarrassed their spouse, who in reacting, look like when someone throw water on a dog and it ran away, all wet with his tail between it legs. Other men may lash out in defense though they are not usually like that. A man is a man. Let him feel like one. 

• Feed him- Yes feed him! I am quite traditional. Though I have recognized the changes in society as it relates to career women (I myself being a career wife), and the added responsibilities  that might require one to hire a helper, ensure that you still take care of your husbands by ensuring that he is fed, gets the right nutrition and is good health. You may say, that is not my responsibility. You married him because, hopefully, you love and care for him. Part of caring for him includes checking up on him. Have you eaten babes? What you eat today? From time to time, cook a warm breakfast or dinner.

• Give him Space- My husband and I were at a couple's ministry seminar sometime last year when it was expressed the importance of space for a man. According to the presenter, a wife might noticed their husband seated silently and may ask, "What are you thinking?" and his response is "nothing". We cannot understand that. How can you not be thinking about something? As women, we are always thinking about something. All of us wives were laughing and the men were nodding in agreement with the presenter. For the first time, I realized, as the presenter stated, that men have a 'nothing box' where they will just go at times, and to witness the men nodding and shouting yes in agreement emphasized the validity of what was said. So wives, let us allow our husbands to escape to that "nothing box" from time to time.

• Stop the nagging- I hear some women nagged and I myself get tired hearing their voice. The bible compares a nagging wife to an endless dripping on a rainy day. In our Caribbean colloquial expression, we may say drizzle rain....the rain just ah drizzle, drizzle like it making up its mind whether to come or not. If you have somewhere to go or trying to get home, but no umbrella, that sometimes upset us. I have heard people said, "rain mek (make) up your mind nah...either you are coming or you are not". The bible further states that it is better for a man to live in a desert or in a corner in the ROOF of a house than to live with a quarrelsome, nagging wife. Now, not all believe in the bible, but you may live with a nagging wife and can attest. It is very disturbing like a mosquito in your ear. Women, need I say more.

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• Be Spontaneous with little, creative gifts- I love massages, God knows, but my husband, even though he does not request it as much as I do, love them too. That is one little gift we can give. Take his big foot (BIG Feet are good) into your hands and give him a foot massage or give him a pedicure or a back massage. 

• Wives, fix up yourselves. There are many wives who no longer feel they need to look good especially if the man does not complain. In our dating lives, everything was on point. Now we are married and we are letting ourselves go. Hair messed up, clothes tear up, huge 'bingo bag' panties that sometimes have little tear here and there, some big long nighties as if to say 'nothing nah gwarn(is not going to happen) tonight or any other night' and so on. We are quick to use the responsibility of our children as an excuse for everything. Remember when they are grown and gone, it is still you and your husband. I always look at Michelle Obama and her husband. Indeed, they are public figures, but in my heart, I say to myself. she makes her husband looks good and he must be proud to have her as a wife. Now, I know many 'independent' woman out there will say, "do it for yourself and not for any man". True, that is always a good start, but many women couldn't care less about themselves so think about your husbands. Make them look good in public and happy in private.

• Sex, sex and more sex- I deliberately leave this for last because often times we think this is all our husbands need and it is enough and yet some of us failed to give them enough. Now wives, I am aware that we are not always in the mood, but there are times when need to get into the mood for the benefit of our husbands. They are not like us. As much as we love sex, some of us can go weeks without and it does not bother us. Our husbands are different and we cannot forget that. So if there is a headache, do not use it as an excuse. Instead, use the sex medication. We too should also be responsible for spicing things up. Often times, in our heads, we imagine coming home to rose petals leading to a warm bath or rose-petaled bed with red wine poured into glass. The man may imagine that too, but even if he doesn't, put on that sexy lingerie and let him come home to something different once in a while. Take the initiative also. We can make the advancement too. Do not always wait on him to touch you, kiss you up and get things in motion. Take charge sometimes.

Men, feel free to comment on other things we can do. I am sure the list is not exhausted. It would be nice to hear from you. Ladies, you can also let me know what you have done for your significant other that he appreciates.