Spare the rod and spoil the child

I know we have all heard the statement spare the rod and spoil the child. We may even hear quotations from the scripture such as Proverbs 13:24, "Whosoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." You might also heard of or read about children's rights and one such right is the RIGHT NOT TO BE HIT. This is how the United Nations Committee on the Rights of a Child define corporal punishment as,

“any punishment in which physical force is used and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light. Most involves hitting (“smacking”, “slapping”, “spanking”) children, with the hand or with an implement – whip, stick, belt, shoe, wooden spoon, etc. But it can also involve, for example, kicking, shaking or throwing children, scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair or boxing ears, forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions, burning, scalding or forced ingestion (for example, washing children’s mouths out with soap or forcing them to swallow hot spices). In the view of the Committee, corporal punishment is invariably degrading. In addition, there are other non-physical forms of punishment which are also cruel and degrading and thus incompatible with the Convention. These include, for example, punishment which belittles, humiliates, denigrates, scapegoats, threatens, scares or ridicules the child.”

See https://wcd.coe.int/ViewDoc.jsp?id=1008209

In many parts of the world, including the Caribbean corporal punishment is against the law. I am totally against child abuse, but from the definition above you would realize that the child cannot even be spanked. I have heard stories about children calling the police on their parents not because they were abused but because they were spanked. I have observed children today and the way some speak to their parents and I keep saying to myself I couldn't do that. What is happening? This child is so rude. I looked back on my life and I know I was beaten by both parents at some point or the other for disobedience. The thing is I have learnt from it. I have learnt not to put my mouth in big people's conversation after all 'small donkey has big ears'. I have learnt that if my mom says sit there and do not move or don't let the sun go down and you are at people's place, she means it. I grow up in an atmosphere also where discipline was not done only by parents, but by grandparents, aunts, uncles, brother or sisters who might be the one that saw you doing wrong. I believe that a lot of who I am today is a result of the discipline from the 'ROD.' Could it have been done differently? Maybe, but half the times I got spanked was because they talked once or twice and never planned to do it three times. 

There are indeed many other ways of disciplining a child apart from corporal punishment, but how effective are they? I am seeing children getting ruder, embarrassing their parents in public and generally have little to no respect for the authority of their parents. The same children that should not be spanked because they are too young to understand certain things, are smart enough to know that if they start screaming out in public, they will get what they want because they parents want them to stop. Again, I do not support the abuse of children, but I believe in a mixed method approach in disciplining a child that includes spanking from time to time. Maybe there should be an age stipulation for spanking according to the definition above.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think the definition of corporal punishment is too extreme? What are your views on spanking children? Is it possible to spank a child and do not abuse them?

Go get yuh madda

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Go get yuh madda (Go get your mother)

A boy and his father from rural Jamaica were visting America for the first time.


The first time they went to a mall, they were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.


The boy asked, "Ah whaddat, daddy?"


The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "Son, mi nevah see nuting so inna my life! Mi nuh know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, sexy 19-year-old woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, says quietly to his son, "Bwoy... Go get yuh Madda!

Breed har again

I found this poem and it is funny, but I believe also it is very serious. Read and tell me what you think:

Breed har again (Breed her again )

A 17 year-old Jamaican girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for the last two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the pharmacy and buys a pregnancy test. 


Confirming her worst fears, the test result is positive. Shouting, swearing and crying, the Mother says, "Which rass man do dis to you? Mi need fi know now!" 


The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a BMW X5 pulls up in front of their house; a dapper looking man dressed in an Armani suit steps out and walks to the house. 


He sits in the living room with the father, the mother, & the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs & provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. 


Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. He continues: "If a boy is born, my legacy will be a factory and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" 


At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and very decisively tells him, "You can breed har again ..."

Beware of Jezebels and Delilah

I am dedicating this blog to all the good men out there. I know that I was somewhat biased in my other blogs with greater concentration on women and understandably so as I am a woman, but this blog today is for you gentlemen.

BEWARE OF JEZEBELS AND DELILAHS

All that glitter is not gold
http://fun-gallery.com/funny-pics/cartoons/jessica-rabbit-165/ 

I think we can all agree that there are some good single men out there who are generally seeking good single women. However, I am sure you have often heard, that the good girls end up with the bad men and the good men end up with the bad girls. Moreover, there are statements sometimes about how some of these bad girls are responsible for turning good men into bad men. Maybe true, maybe not, but what is fact is just as there are good and bad men out there, there are also good and bad girls. So men what would I am say to you, DON'T PUT YOUR HEAD IN DELILAH'S ANTS NEST OR GET TURN ON BY JEZEBEL'S SEDUCTION. Now how can you tell if you are with a Delilah or a Jezebel. Be vigilant and look out for these things:

• A woman who is only happy fortnightly or monthly...salary time

• A woman who talks down to you and at times even in front their friends or yours. Pull her up! There is no woman out there who wants a 'soft man'. If they do it and get away, they would lose all respect for you and they will continue doing it

• She always wants, she never gives and she is never satisfied. If you cannot buy her the expensive stuff she is upset and  she does not understand you cannot buy it at this time. Watch your pocket, she will deplete your resources.

• A controlling and manipulative woman. A part of being a woman includes being submissive to your man. If she wants to run things always, dictating who you should or should not talk to and  where you can or cannot go, Beware! She may also use guilt trips to control you.

• A woman who does not want to be seen in public with you, yet they are your woman or they only want to be seen with you when you are dressed a certain way (not in your work clothes for example if you are a mechanic, a carpenter or farmer). 

• A woman who is never wrong. Watch yourself!

• A woman who uses her body, sweet talk and sex to get what she wants. You might just like it, but is this who you want in your life?

• A selfish woman. She cares only about herself. She looks great because she pays so much attention to herself, but she pays little attention to your care and your needs. She may not be willing once to cook you a good meal because she does not want to stain her hands or break a nail.

Now those are just a few pointers and I would add here that some of these women are in church. The bible teaches that Jezebel had claimed to be a prophetess. So vigilance is key. Do not be caught up in outward beauty. All that glitters is not gold. And you may feel lucky to have her because physically she is all that and a half, but beauty fades while personal traits are there forever. 

YUH MI WAAN FI DEH WID

YUH MI WAAN FI DEH WID
- by Joan Andrea Hutchinson ©2007

Even  if yuh put on fifty pound
Even if yuh sick an mawga down
Even if yuh bleach di black fi fayva brown
A yuh  mi waan fi deh wid

Even if yuh foot shape like afoo yam
An yuh hand look like song of di banana man
Even if yuh claim rasta but a quietly lick di ham
A yuh mi waan fid eh wid

So even doah yuh behaving like a clown
An yuh name a call all over town
A yuh mi still waan fi be around
A yuh mi waan fi deh wid

Virginity, Virginity: Where is thy value, Where is thy worth?

I always thank God for the high school I went to, the St. Joseph's Convent Kingstown. It might not have been my first choice, but it was the right choice. I am even more grateful for the clasmates I met and the friends I have gained and here is apart of my story on why.

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/how-to-draw-a-cartoon-girl.htm

Virginity was highly valued. It was overly preached within our circle and we treated ourselves as trophy wives to be. We even give our group names relating to our purity. It was so much valued that when most of us got into college, we continued in the same frame of mind and when persons felt that they were ready for sex, there was like a consultation, not to ask permission, but to say I am ready. Even then we had each other back, trying to ensure that the person is at least worthy of having it, by getting all the street dirt we can get on them. I can attribute my high regard for virginity to attending a convent school that was so highly disciplined, but I would rather attribute it to the friends I have met and surrounded myself with at the school.

Today, I wonder how is virginity viewed? It seems like the opposite is now happening and to be a virgin is the 'bad thing'. When did this shift happen and what is responsible for that shift? Men still desire to lay with virgins, some only to boost their own ego by counting how many girls' virginity they have stolen, others for moral reasons, wanting to be only guy to have slept with a girl. It would seem though that the men who simply want to boost their ego are in the greater percentage and while most time girls give themselves to their boy friends in a somewhat fairy tale happily ever after story before hitting reality, it is not the case for men. We then have a lot of young ladies growing up with a lot of regrets and a past they wished they can go back and change...Too Late! I often says sex is like opening a pan of pringles; the slogan is once you pop you can't stop. It is easier to maintain a virginity than to start to have sex and then try to maintain what is sometimes called a "secondary virginity" (there is no such thing though).

I believe though that being a virgin put you on a pedestal, just as it was for us in high school. There is a kind of self worth that you have that cannot be easily taken away and you can always keep your head a little higher than the rest knowing that no matter how much the young man crave for you, how much he wants to boost his ego, how much he tried to undermine your worth, he can never use these words: SHE IS EASY, I SLEPT WITH HER...AND MY BRETHREN TOO, SHE IS JUST PLAYING WHAT SHE ISN'T.

Cook, wash and clean: Is it for the modern woman?

In years gone by, as a female child growing up, your mother will call you to the kitchen and you were put to cook. I remembered clearly the first time I cook and bake, I was still a young teen and neither time I got it right.  Still, before I passed my teens I got both baking and cooking right. When I got to university, I was amazed at the many young ladies who couldn't cook and some who did not care to learn. Cooking now seemed like a traditional thing, fit for housewives and the ladies of "those days".

Instead the new talk was about being a career woman, with no time for domestic duties and about making enough money to below to hire a helper. Yes, the modern day ladies and ladies to be seemed to have taken on a new way of thinking. Whether or not it is a right mode of thinking, I cannot say. I too have seen the difficulty in maintaining a home and holding down on a career, but I still believe in and live by these few guidelines and observations.

• A woman, married or unmarried should be able to cook a decent meal for herself and her spouse even if there is a helper. LEARN TO COOK.
• A child/children should not grow up to love the food of your helper more than your food, neither should they be spending more time with the helper or sitter, than you. STRIKE A BALANCE
• A woman should be able to take care of a home meaning being able to handle domestic duties. I do not see this as traditional, but as part of our nature. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A WOMAN, BUT ACTUALLY MORE OF A WOMAN.
• Eating out is good, but eating in is better. Let keeping out continue to be a luxury that you enjoy from time to time so that hard working income can be better spent. Remember as a lady, you are also a MANAGER OF YOUR HOME AND AT TIMES THE FINANCE.
• Maybe the way through  a man's heart is still through his stomach. I believe a woman earn greater respect from their spouse when they can handling cooking, cleaning and washing, or may be I should say when they are good managers.
• I still hear of husbands cheating with their helpers. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU :)

And finally, I note this observation. There are a lot of broken homes out there because both parents are now breadwinners and the children are left to fend for themselves. The role of a woman as a MANAGER of the home, is slowly fading out and the children are going a stray. As a career woman myself, I would advise us all to STRIKE A BALANCE.